Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Where did the time go?

As the weekend draws near I am filled with excitement and a I also must admit, a small amount of dread. You see this Saturday I am taking my baby (my once diaper wearing, baby lotion smelling baby) prom dress shopping. Where did the time go? It seems it was gone in the blink of an eye. I mean wasn't it just yesterday I was up till 11pm trying to get her to go to bed for the night and then the following morning awake long before she was wondering if she was alright because at 11am she was still asleep? Wasn't it only a very very short time ago I walked into her kindergarten class carrying all those cupcakes I so lovingly baked for her birthday that year? And what about the time I helped her practice her cheerleading routines? Or the time we spent curled up on the couch together coloring in her books? Reading her her very first bedtime story at night?

Sometimes I so desperately want my baby back. The smell of her after giving her a bath at night. I swear to you there is no better smell on earth that compares to this. The laughter in her eyes at the long ago private jokes we shared. Those big baby blues looking up at me in such adoration.

Wait a minute while I compose myself here and dry my eyes.................................sniff.

Then I remember if I was to go back in time that I also have to endure yet again the smell of those nasty disgusting diapers (there is also no other smell on earth that compares to this one as well), the long nights of sickness from colic, ear aches, and having her tonsils removed. Not to mention the cries when she fell and hurt herself learning to ride her bike, the cruelness of other children when she first got her braces.

Maybe we are both better off in this phase of our lives together. I always have my memories and pictures to remember all these wonderful times and events. As well as the longing to see what becomes of the rest of her life. How I helped mold her into the person she has become and what more she will become and accomplish.

No I think I will stay right where I am. Looking forward to helping her choose the perfect dress for just such a perfect night.

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