Saturday, January 31, 2009

Begin Again, New Life, part 4

After a weeks of the new job I started getting into a routine. Finally I was feeling like I had started getting life in order. I am a creature of routine. I hate my life being thrown off balance for any reason. Life was good again.

Things were falling into a routine around the parent's house as well. We all had breakfast together, like when I was a young girl. It felt good to go home. I worked, cleaned house, cooked a certain amount of meals a week and relaxed.

I'm not sure if anyone can realize just how it felt to relax. To know you could sit down, prop your feet up and just sigh, laugh and giggle. Not have to worry about what was said, what might happen, or what would set the monster off again. He had been like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I had grown so used to that sort of life, that I didn't realize how truly stressed and tensed my body had become. After a period of time however, I did notice I was relaxing.

I loved working for the attorney. My days were filled with work, sometimes boring, sometimes so filled with things to do I couldn't catch my breath. I was satisfied like I had not been in forever. My parents house was about 14 miles from the little town. So once I went to work I stayed there the rest of the day. You see, my sister worked just a few doors down from me at one of the local banks. Her apartment was right behind the bank and my office. So for lunch we timed it together most days and would either eat out or at her apartment. I loved her little apartment and remember thinking to myself one day while there, that I would love to move into one when I got enough money saved. They were also rented through another friend who worked with my sister. See, small town again and everyone knows everyone else. Saving money for Princess and I to move out of the parents was at this point my next main goal in life.

After about two months with the attorney I started looking for a second job. Princess was old enough to be left alone, but for sure at my parent's house. I also knew in order to save money to get our own place required two jobs. So the hunt for job number 2 started. It was sort of funny, back then I drank some. But even at my age still didn't drink at mom and dad's. Only on the rare occasion did I drink at their house. One day I stopped at the local liquor store for a 6 pack of beer. While there I heard the employee talking about needing someone part time at night and on the weekends. I applied right then and there and by the following week I had the job. It worked out perfectly. I would get off work at the day job and go straight to the evening job about three nights a week and every other Friday and Saturday night.

Each week I paid my part of the bills and gave my mother a certain amount to hold for me (for the place I would rent). I also had decided since so many of my things for a home were still in the storage and had no idea for sure if I would ever get them back or not, that I would spend a certain amount of money each week on things I knew I would need when we moved out. I bought a large plastic container and started filling it up. It was amazing how fast I gathered things needed this way. Small things, like a can opener, dish towels, bath towels and stuff such as this. Eventually I had several plastic totes in the storage building at my parents.

After a couple of months the time had finally came to file for divorce. I asked Mr. Attorney if he had one he could recommend to me that wouldn't cost me an arm and a leg. By this time he and I had not only become boss and employee but friends. He did recommend a fellow attorney in the adjoining town. Mr. Attorney told me not to worry about it as "he would take care of it". I thought he meant the paperwork and stuff. I provided all the information needed and when I had the first appt. with the divorce attorney I found out that Mr. Attorney not only took care of everything he even went as far as paying for the entire thing. I tried to get him to let me pay him back but he refused. Finally after bugging the crap out of him about it he told me it would be my bonus that year if it made me feel better. The man is a saint.

Life was moving by now so fast it seemed. The days started running into one another. Two jobs kept me busy and quite happy. I should have known it wouldn't last forever. The divorce paperwork was coming along swimmingly and then the day the papers were mailed out for the ex to sign them, it all started over again. I got the first call from him in a few months. He had only called at this point about two times. Each time I hung up on him.

However the day he received those papers brought out the bad side of him again........................................................

Friday, January 30, 2009

My Next Life As I Figure It To Be

In this life I am a Woman. In my next life I would like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate you're supposed to eat yourself stupid for six months. Again, I could deal with that.

When you're a girl bear you get to birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could deal with that as well.

If you're a momma bear EVERYONE knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, well heck you swat them too. Yeah, I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you have hairy legs and excess body fat.


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Ice Storm 2009

Monday the weatherman was calling for Arkansan's to have the worst ice (freeze) storm we have had in a number of years. For once the weatherman was dead on. I started Monday after hearing this by preparing for it. You know the last minute trip to the store to buy staples. Bread, milk and eggs. First off why do we do this? Is it born into us to drop everything and run off to purchase these things. As Mental Mama asked me via text "what are you having french toast that entire time?"

Then I started drawing up lots of water. In case our water pipes froze and we couldn't flush a toilet, or God forbid had no water for coffee. No computer from no electricity is bad enough without NOT having my morning coffee as well. I become one heck of a bitch then.

Then I started gathering all the candles I could find. This is not a hard task as I always have candles around here.

Once all this was done then the waiting game started. And we waited, and waited...................

Tuesday night I sat here at the computer late once again I hate not being able to sleep and it was like listening to a war going on outside. The snapping and popping of trees and tree limbs sounded like rapid gun fire. The transformers blowing all over town was even worse. Then total darkness.......................

I went to bed knowing we had no electricity and still hearing the sounds of snapping, popping and very loud breakage going on. With a prayer in my head that everyone was safe.

We awoke to this.............................







It was beautiful and deadly all at the same time. We had heat, we had a cook top, but we had no hot water, and no electricity. Which meant no computer. I thought I would go into withdrawals and damn near did.

Monday, January 26, 2009

A Simple Woman's Day Book

FOR TODAY Monday, January 26, 2009

Outside my window...It's cold, dreary weather. However the birds are chirping
I am thinking...That maybe, just maybe spring is not far away.
I am thankful for...many things in my life.

From the kitchen...I hear dirty dishes calling my name.
I am wearing...Pajama men's flannel pants and a t-shirt.
I am creating...a great attitude today.
I am be cleaning house later today.
I am reading...the third book in the Twilight Series. Yes I am behind.
I am hoping...our new President can turn this world around.
I am hearing...the pitter patter of cats feet.
Around the house...there are many cat hair balls and dust bunnies.
One of my favorite spending time with family.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Cleaning house, spending time with Princess, reading, and taking some walks around the neighborhood.

I found out about the Simple Woman's Day Book from Kate at Chronicles of a Country Girl and slowly fell in love with the concept of this. Thanks Kate for your posts and friendship.

If you would also like to take part in this "The Simple Woman's Day Book" then jump over to the blog that started it all. You will find many others taking part as well.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Begin Again Part 3

I'm not going to say it was easy because in truth it was quite the opposite. It was hard starting over and going back home. It was also what I needed. I needed this to keep my sanity, get back my life and learn who I was. Who deep down I actually was after all those years had gotten left by the wayside. Who was I really? What made me tick? All questions that in time came to be answered.

Even though you go back home to your parents at the age I was, life is still quite different. After about one week of babying me, scolding me and loving me the parents laid down the ground rules. We are here to help, we are here as long as you need us, we will provide a roof, food and utilities. But you find work, quickly, and pay your way and save money to get out. All these rules were understood and understood well. It's hard to go from how you live your life, with your way of cleaning, cooking and all that to your parents rules. But we made it work. I didn't' agree with all their ways and they didn't agree with mine. However it was their house and I respected them dearly. They were giving me the opportunity to begin again.

I immediately wanted to start divorce proceedings and file. However I found out that since I had moved I had to wait a number of months to start this. I still think this rule is unfair and wrong. I left a very bad situation but I was the one being punished for moving out of it. However again, rules are rules. I had to live with them.

Almost everyone of my things such as furniture, personal items and such were all still in a storage unit in Tennessee. I contacted the storage unit personnel and found out that since it was in the soon to be ex's name I couldn't even get my own things. Even if I paid the monthly storage. I had to wait till the ex got behind in the payments before I could get my own things. And then I had to purchase all of my belongings back from the rental agency. Once more I felt as if I were being punished for something I had no control over. For things I had not done wrong. My belongings but since I had been dumb enough to have the unit in his name I had to buy my own things back. Once again, rules I had to live with.

After a few weeks my parents went with me to the ex's to pick up what I had there from his parent's outbuilding where the ex had placed what little Princess and I had had in the travel trailer and other things not in the storage unit. I knew I didn't want to go alone and no way was my parents letting me. I contacted ex's parents and made arrangements with them to pick all this up when the ex was not going to be there. Upon getting there and starting to load all this stuff the soon to be ex steps out from behind a building. His parents had lied to me. Why did I find this so surprising? It took all my dad's restraint to not beat this person into a pulp and leave laying there on the ground. While insults were being thrown at me and my family we managed to keep our mouths shut and not do anything wrong. My dad is a very strong man. My mother however is strong but also threw her own insults. God love my mother for this. The ride home was long. I cried so much but not because of what I thought was love for this horrible person, but because here I was 40 years old and having to get my parents involved once more in the mistakes I had made in my life. I remember vowing I would never put them into this type situation again.


I started looking for work within one week of moving back home. I had skills of all kinds but no degree in anything but Respiratory Therapy. Then it was only a state license which wouldn't even get me a job in the field I loved so much. By this many years having gone by the rules were different for the certificates needed to work in a hospital. Once again those damn rules kept popping up.

No matter where I looked for work, or how many applications I filled out I could find nothing. I kept telling my parents and family I didn't want their help in this. I wanted to do it on my own. After another couple of weeks beggars can't be choosers. I needed to work for my sanity as well as to take care of Princess and I. Pay my part of the bills and save to get out on my own. So I broke down and asked for their help once more. If you aren't from a small town you my not understand this, but in a small town it's all in who you know when it comes to finding work. Strings pulled for you and small town's are known for this. You do what you have to do. My sister got me a job as a administrative assistant to a local attorney. I had the job before ever actually applying and interviewing for it.

I interviewed on a Monday and was hired (of course) before walking out. I didn't start work till the following Monday but was paid before leaving from the interview for that entire week. I had found a savior of a man in that attorney. He was my new hero, my light in shining armor. I worshipped him. And still do to this very day. We developed a wonderful working relationship as well as friendship. I worked there for the remainder of my time in that small town till even after Trucker and I married.

I came home from that job interview finally knowing life was beginning again for me and Princess. I could now hold my head even higher knowing I had found a job I could be proud of. I burst threw the back door again and told my family the news. They were as happy for me as I was of myself.................................


To be continued..............................

Saturday, January 24, 2009

For Tea and Teapot Lovers

Photo above courtesy of the sweet Susan @ Between Naps on the Porch. Go by and give Susan a visit today. Susan is a wonderful hosts for Tablescape Tuesday and her blog is filled with many wonderful DIY posts and more.

Do you like tea? Whether it's hot or cold? Do you enjoy sitting at mid morning or in the afternoons and enjoying a nice cup of tea with maybe a hot scone or other treat? Nothing like sitting in front of a roaring fire in the winter time and sipping a hot cup of tea while relaxing. Maybe partaking in your tea time while outside sitting on your back porch or deck? For me it's a real treat in the day to take my cup of hot tea, my favorite scone and just sit outside enjoying the quiet and maybe if I'm lucky the wildlife. Of course all of this is made more special by fixing myself a special tray loaded with my favorite tea pot, cup and saucer. Sometimes I even put a tea rose in a special vase on my tea tray as well. It's just the perfect ending to a perfect day! I think most of us do enjoy this little pleasure for ourselves. I know I certainly do! I am extremely happy to announce that I have found the perfect place in which you can order fabulous teas, tea pots, cups, saucers, and all of your tea time favorites. Not only have a found such a place I even decided to become a consultant for them. Who is this wonderful place I'm talking about you ask? It's Teaporia!! At Teaporia we offer a large variety of your favorite teas for serving hot or cold. Teaporia opened their doors over three years ago and at that time had a selection of around 50 teas to choose from. Because of the large demand for various types of tea they have now expanded their offerings to over 150 selections.
We carry everything from sample bags to 1 pound bags and more, all for your indulgence. We have recently added our Teaporia Kids Line of Teas for all those little ones that love their "own" tea and their special tea sets. Be sure to take a look at the collection! Teaporia is happy to Custom Blend any teas at your request. We also make up gift baskets, have gift certificates and will ship anywhere in the United States for you. Tell us what your needs are and we will do our best to make you happy.

Begin your experience or enhance your knowledge of tea by trying some of our many different flavors. Don't forget to try some our easy scone, muffin or cheesecake mixes. They all go great with a cup of tea. Share a cup with your friend, have an impromptu tea party with your children, or just sit back and relax.

Here are a few things that Teaporia has in their line of teas, teapots, scones, and more. Teaporia as well as a large selection for children. Including special teas and tea service for kids.

You will also find several recipes on the site such as: Tea Time Cookies, Pumpkin Pie Squares, Cranberry Orange Bread and many more.

So for a large selection of teas, tea pots and much more head over today to Teaporia (simply click the banner below) and have a look around. I promise you that you will enjoy the site and find something for the Tea lover in YOU!

Teaporia...the place for all your necessi-TEAS!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Learning to Live Frugally

As of right now it looks as if I more than likely have lost my fairly new job. The one I have worked at since July and was so damn happy to find. I hate this more than anyone can imagine as I love the job itself. However they have many rules and regulations which I have had a difficult time with. Oh not your usual gripes about jobs, but the attendance policy is my problem. You see their policy is that you can only accumulate 12 points in one year and then termination takes place. As of last week I had 11 1/4 points in total.

My health has been so bad for the last few years that my immune system is very low. I catch every freaking thing that comes along and then some. Not to mention my allergies to dust, mold, mildew, pets and everything under the sun is another reason I miss a lot of work. So if I'm not sick from a bacterial or viral infection, then I'm sick with allergies. The doctor and I have been working together to try our best to get me cured or somewhat well enough to work. It's gotten to the point that antibiotics aren't even doing me any good. Also for the last year I have had a staph infection. They have found out now that I am a carrier and will not ever be cured of this.

Long story short on this termination thing is that I had to have my doctor fill out paperwork today for a Medical Leave of Absence from work. I faxed it in to work and am waiting to hear if I have a job or not. Since my points are so high chances are they are going to terminate me. Or I get to return to work with a written warning that if I miss one more day, or am tardy one more time, then I'm history. Well with the way I stay so sick this could be anytime.

I have even discussed with my doctor about applying for disability as much as I hate to do this. I am limited on the types of work I can perform due to the allergies, having had both shoulders operated on (with pins in them) I can't lift anything heavy or over my head, high blood pressure and the list could go on.

Which leads me to the actual post title. We have to start living more frugally around here. If I lose my job this means that our money will cut down considerably. Not to mention losing my health care for myself and the family.

I have been searching for ways to cut costs everywhere I can think of. We have already done a lot around the house by changing the way we heat, where we actually heat and cool, and things of this nature.

Now I am cutting down on the types of food we eat. No more eating out unless it's a treat or some special occasion. I ran across a website I thought I should share with others who may like to cut some corners as well. It's all about healthy cooking and extras on a tight budget. The website is called "Hillbilly Housewife" and is filled with recipes, tips, budgets, frugal shopping ideas and things of this nature.

After reading the Hillbilly Housewife website and writing things down for food and recipe ideas, I am proud to say I went grocery shopping today for a family of 5 and only spent $85.00 for everything for a week. I have always shopped at Save-A-Lot for my groceries and only go to Wal-mart if I have too. Now mind you I purchased very very little pre-made type foods. No Little Debbie's, no pre-made rolls, no ice-cream, no cookies, and things such as this. I am going to be home now and have more than enough time to cook everything from scratch. I mean everything.

This weeks menu will include: homemade pizza's (tonight), lasagna, country style steak and gravy, meatloaf and hamburgers. Desserts included will be: homemade peach cobbler (Trucker's favorite), blueberry muffins (fresh blueberries as well in them) banana nut bread, oatmeal cookies.

I don't think I done half bad. If anyone would like to share some frugality tips in cooking or anything else please by all means let me know some. We might all start a post once a week or something related to saving money in various ways. If anyone's interested do please let me know. I know it would help me as well as others. Or if you know more websites for savings let me know those as well. Thanks everyone.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Alphabet MeMe

I just love taking part in MeMe's. I think they are such fun. This one is going to be fun for me as it is going to contain lots of pictures. I got this from the NoeNoe Girl and asked her to assign me a letter. Wouldn't you just guess my letter would be "T".

It's really simple to play along. Just leave me a comment that you want to take part. I will then assign you a letter to play along with. You list up to 10 things starting with that letter and post pictures of them. Up to 10 things you love starting with that letter. And it just continues. So here's my list of things I love.

1. Traveling. I just love to travel anywhere and anytime. I don't care where I just want to go. Especially if it's in the semi truck with Trucker.

2. Tickets. I love me some nascar racing as you all know. So just give me some tickets to one race and I'm a happy little camper.

3. Tulips. I sure wish I had some blooming right now. They just sing springtime to me.

4. Tushy. Another name for Truckers cute curvy little behind. Sorry ladies but I'm a tush woman.

5. Trucker. Notice I did not say Trucker(s).

6. Tiny Toes. The tiny toes of a newborn are just to cute for words.

7. Travel Trailers. Someday it would be nice to own one and do that traveling I hope to do at retirement.

8. Trees. Most especially looking out from the top of a mountain over the tree tops.

9. Tiara's. I think they make you feel like a Princess.

10. T-shirts. I love them. the comfort of them, the wording expressed on them. Everything about a t-shirt is for me.

Don't Cha Just Love To Get Them?

I am excited to say I have just received (actually a few days ago) a new blogger award. I received this award from Paige over at Mommy to a Charli Girl. Paige is a single mom, who adores her daughter and works in as a dispatcher, EMT and much more. Trucking has deep roots in her family. I am proud to say Paige found me and passed this award on to me by searching for new blogging friends. Thanks Paige, and tell your momma to stop by anytime.

The rules for this award are:
First, choose a minimum of seven blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Secondly, show the seven winners' names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Scrap". Another award to add to your list of awards. Lastly, list at least ten honest things about yourself.

I think I am going to do as Paige did and choose 7 new blogs I have been visiting.

1. I stumbled up Jaime at Rose Cottage and fell in love with her sense of humor. She also does some really nifty pictures of herself as other women. Stop by and check out her Audrey Hepburn look.

2. Meet Wilma of the Flintstone Family over at Little Toes and Cheerios. Who by the way has the most adorable little Pebbles you've ever seen.

3. Next hop on over to Charlotte at The Robin's Nest and check out her posts. She's another southern lady much like myself. Only she has goats. LOL.

4. Your day is not complete without reading and asking Grandma J some questions. Just be careful what you ask cause she'll give you and honest to god answer. Like it or not. ha.

5. Then we have Sondre Lyn at Sondre Lyn the Inane Ramblings of a Cluttered Mind. Who is very fast becoming a wonderful blogger friend. She is a working momma with an empty nest. Who also has a great sense of humor.

6. Drum roll please for the Noe Noe Girl. I absolutely love her jokes and cartoons and it's worth going over to read them.

7. Last but certainly not least we have Julie at 47 and Starting Over. I don't remember how I found Julie's blog (probably through one of my readers) but am so happy I found her. Even after going through a rotten divorce she is willing to take a chance at love again. Lots of times she posts and asks our advice on "new men" she's found on dating sites. More often than not no one likes any of them. LOL. Including Julie. She has started over again with a great sense of humor and wonderful attitude. Go check her out.

Now for me having to add 10 honest things about myself. Gee this is a hard one. Let me think a minute here.

1. I could live in my pj's all day and all night. I want to be comfortable more than anything else.
2. I haven't had a haircut in over 6 months. Not because I'm letting it grow out but because I just haven't took the time.
3. I honestly love getting junk mail in the box. It's so much nicer to see that than the bills.
4. I'm addicted to the computer. I honestly spend way to many hours in front of it.
5. I love hummingbirds and could sit outside for hours just watching them and trying to capture a wonderful photo of them.
6. I hate cooking so much so that Trucker does the majority of it. I used to love it back many many moons ago and then just started hating it. Not really sure why, but it's like I developed an attitude that I have had enough.
7. I love the smell of flowers, perfume, coming rains, fresh dirt, and babies.
8. I've never been to the ocean and only seen it once out the window.
9. I would love to see Ireland and Scotland someday.
10. I love anything that goes fast.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Begin Again Part 2

Mom and Dad had no idea at all that we were there, outside their back door. In fact I had not seen them for about two weeks or talked to them. They had driven up to see me a few weeks prior to visit and make sure I was doing OK. I had been hurt in an accident at work and had ended up with massive amounts of stitches in my face, broken thumb and a busted up knee cap.

I was a sight to see the day they came to visit. I still had those stitches and a thumb splint on and walking on crutches. I was also outside hobbling around using a rake. So was Princess as well. We were attempting to rake the yard at our house site. Yeah you couldn't call it much more than that because we lived in a travel trailer on a few acres of land down the road from the ex's parents house. I think back now and can't imagine ever letting myself live in those conditions. Worse I can't imagine having put Princess in those conditions. We shared (the three of us) a very small travel trailer with no running water. We did have electricity which the ex had stolen (from the way he hooked it up) from the electric company. For some reason I can't quite fathom now I thought I loved this man enough to have placed Princess and I in this position.

I wish I knew (even after all these years) why I thought when you loved someone you had to suffer things. Love is not like that. I had been told years prior to marrying number 3 that since I was a health care worker, I thought I could help and cure everyone. I had that type of nurturing personality. I took in strays and thought I would make their lives better. I guess in many ways I did. I enabled them to continue their drug habits, their drinking habits and their horrible lifestyles. All the while bringing mine and Princess's down.

That day mom and dad came was one of embarrassment to me. It always was when my parents came to visit. I guess because deep down inside I knew they were right, I was better than what I was living.

That day was also the first anniversary of our wedding. In that years time I had gained nothing, not one thing. I had went from working as a respiratory therapist, to moving half a dozen times, giving up a career I loved to working in a motel as a desk clerk to living in a nice house to a travel trailer. What had happened to me?


Princess and I walked through that door with our heads held high and tears running down our faces. I remember my parents were sitting at the bar in the kitchen eating their supper and looked up at us in shock. Princess and I looked like a couple of dirty homeless people carrying our little ditty bags with us. The first words out of my mother's mouth was "Well it's about damn time you came home". I burst into tears and they both got up and hugged us close. The tears continued flowing for a long time. Not so much in sadness but in the joy that I knew I wouldn't go back. I knew when I came that far that there was no turning back for me.

I slept better that night, snuggled next to Princess, than I had in years. I was at peace and safe.


To be continued..................

Friday, January 16, 2009

I've Been Tagged

Charlotte over at The Robbins Nest has tagged me for a photo tag.

Ok, First the rules are simple and as follows:

1. Go to your pictures folder on your computer.
2. Go to the 6th folder and pick the 6th picture in that folder.
3. Post that picture on your blog and the story that goes with it.
4. Tag 6 other people that you know and ask them to do the same.
5. Leave them a comment or email them and let them know they have been tagged.

Ok, here's my 6th picture in my 6th folder.


One of my very favorite pictures ever. It's Trucker and my grand daughter when she was barely a year old. I had both the babies that summer for one month. I was exhausted when Trucker came in from work. So was he obviously, ha ha. He had told me to go and lay down and take a nap and he would handle things. This is the picture I woke up to. I had to take it and now cherish it dearly.

Now for my 6. I am not actually going to choose 6 people to participate but leave that to you. If you would like to then by all means go ahead. I would enjoy seeing your pictures and hearing the stories that go with them.

Going Home to Begin Again

"Exactly how many times can I start over again" I asked myself. You see for me this was number 3. My third and final divorce I vowed. I refused to be walked on, abused and taken for granted again. I refused to let Princess go through this again.

I knew when I left that late evening it would honestly be the very last time I was punched on, belittled and man-handled. I knew this because for the very first time, at the age of 40, I was going home. Home to mom and dad, family and the small town I grew up in. Where everyone knew me, from birth, to my first steps to watching me graduate high school with such high hopes. I knew in my mind that if I went home again, those people, my family would help to rebuild the confidence I had lost oh so many years ago. They would not let me go back!

Princess and I pulled into my parents drive way after the sun had long set in the sky. With only a very few things packed or should I say thrown into my little Plymouth Neon. Thrown into the car as objects (both large and small) were being thrown at us. A day I have tried to bury deep into the recesses of my brain, but one which resurfaces occasionally to remind me that I never will go back.

I remember after pulling into the drive way sitting for a few moments in the car just staring and thinking. That's when it hit me full force. Like opening both barrels of a shotgun and blasting away at something. The tears came then, in great gulps I sucked in the night air. "It's finally over" I remember thinking. "We are safe for the first time in years". I composed myself and took Princess's hand and together we walked through the back door. To.begin.again...................................................................

This is how my new life started at the age of 40. This is the beginning of my new life, my new self confidence, and the new me.

I thought I would share the life leading up to where I am today, and how Trucker and I met. How I discovered how to love life again.

Follow me down the path if you will. It's not all going to be gloom and doom. However I do want to share how you can start over and have the life you've always dreamed of.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I've Finally Gotten It Figured Out

Remember the other day when I said I was fixing to Take the Plunge and get back into shape before my body killed me? Well, I've finally figured out it's a conspiracy. My body is really trying to kill me. Oh I know what you're thinking "that's ridiculous your body can't do that" or "give me a break that's impossible". To you nay sayers I say "Yes it can and it tried". But I won out and am living proof you can beat it.

After making that statement about taking the plunge on the 8th, yes the exact date, my body did attempt to put me away for good. Came damn close I might add too. I came down with a stomach virus this according to the emergency room doctor, according to my inner doctor I came down with food poisoning. Either doctor was right however.

So I took the plunge in one way or another. I lost several pounds this past week. Not doctor recommended though and I wouldn't attempt this if I were you. It's not for the faint of heart or weak stomached person. However it's a wonderful way to shrink your stomach so it doesn't take near as much food to fill you up anymore. I consider this a plus to the new diet.

It's also a great new way to exercise. You get plenty of good steps (burn those leg muscles) heading to and from the bathroom. Which sometimes when the kids are home means you travel up and down a staircase to get to the bathroom up there in kid land, thus providing you the stair stepper exercise regimen. No good exercise program is complete without the stair stepper. Sometimes you even get to jog to and from. Another great exercise while in this condition is the "squeezing of the butt muscles". No need to explain how this one happens. I got me some tight butt cheeks now.

At the end of this grueling day of exercise the bonus is similar to a spa. You can take a luxurious hot bath, helps to bring the fever down by sweating,also to clean out your toxin infested pores, followed by doctor recommended medication. This medication helps you to exercise more during the night time hours. It induces sleep, so your not really thinking about all the exercise your getting while sleep walking to and from the bathroom. It's true you can burn calories while you sleep. Also lose weight at the same time.

For anyone who wants to try this new diet along with me simply comment and let me know. I'll be right over to visit and pass on the new diet to you as well. After all, that's what friends are for. To do new things together, give each other support and all. I am a great friend that way.

Monday, January 12, 2009

What's Your Word?

This is brought to you by the fact that I am still under the weather. I do see the road to recovery up ahead. Now if only I can get there.

Your Word is "Love"

You see life as possibility to form deep connections with a few people.

Relationships are the center of your world, and you always take time to bond with those you love.

You are caring and giving. You enjoy helping those you love.

And when it comes to romantic love, you feel passionately ... even in a very long term relationship.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

My Interview With Kate

After reading Kate's interview with Daryl over at Chronicles of a Country Girl I knew I wanted to be part of the next bunch of interviews taking place. Not only is it fun but it's also another great way for us to get to know one another. So I asked Kate to interview me.

1. You've just won the million dollar lottery. What's the first thing you'd want to do with the money?

Believe it or not this subject has been coming up at our house a lot recently. A 21 year old girl Trucker and I both know from a neighboring town just hit the jackpot for a cool couple million in Tunica a couple of weeks ago.

The very first thing we would do with the money is pay off our house. Going to the bank with the money to pay this place off would be the biggest thrill in my lifetime. Doing a "nanananana" dance in their lobby would be sooo much fun. Then we'd bull doze the place and build a new replica in it's place. I know this sounds plain and corny but that's what we'd do.

2. Who is your hero and why?

Ok, this one I've never given any thought to at all. I guess because I don't have any hero's. To me life is full of various hero's in one way or another. So just living life to the very best of your abilities is hero enough for me.

3. What is your absolute favorite meal? And don't forget the dessert!

I'm a simple person who actually likes simple foods. My absolute favorite meal is the three dish combo at Red Lobster. All shrimp trio. Followed by anything chocolate.

4. When did you begin blogging and why?

Until this question I've never bothered to look at the date. My first blog post was March 5, 2008. Gee coming up on the one year mark. Cool. I started blogging as a way to express myself and I love writing. I also love sitting in front of the computer because I'm lazy that way. ha.

5. What would you consider your greatest achievement?

Learning to live again after overcoming spousal abuse. Both mental and physical. Learning that I am much better than to live with that in my life.

Sorry is this wasn't what you were expecting or if you found it boring. It's still me in a nutshell. And the painkillers, as I've been in bed sick for four days now.

Now the rules of the interview are simple. If you want to be interviewed just leave me a comment saying "Interview me" and I'll contact you with my questions.

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So let's get to interviewing one another, shall we?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Taking The Plunge

Yes, it's true. I am taking the plunge to get back into shape before my body kills me. I have been overweight for three years now, since marrying Trucker, and fluffly long enough. I feel worse physically than ever before in my life and it's simply because I don't exercise. I know this!

Having gone from being a single mom working two jobs, which required physical exertion, to being married and sitting on my ass for the first two years, well let's just say "It was bound to happen". I don't like it one bit. I have that "sit on your ass" spread, as well as the fluffy muffin top. Eww just thinking about it is gross.

I'm not going into this with the attitude that I am going to come out looking like Pam Anderson but only want to have more stamina. Right now walking to the mail box causes me to break out in a sweat and breath heavily. Seriously. I walked, not ran, walked quickly to my phone at work yesterday and I know the customer thought I was a heavy breather by the time I answered. You would have thought I had ran a damn marathon.

I am determined to change
all of this with the help of the NEA Wellness Center. It's perfect for me. It's directly across the street from work and we are getting a corporate discount at the place. Yippee, for only $20 a month I have all of this at my fingertips. Take a look at some of the pictures and tell me what you think.

Indoor Track

The NEA Clinic Wellness Center at the Athletic Club has a 1/18 mile indoor, rubberized running/walking track.

Cardio Theatre
The NEA Clinic Wellness Center offers a complete line of cardiovascular training equipment including treadmills, elliptical trainers, bikes, and stair steppers. Also provided is a Cardio Theatre which allows you to watch television while you work out.

Indoor Pool

The NEA Clinic Wellness

Center at the Athletic Club's indoor, heated swimming pool is five feet deep and kept at 86 degrees year round. Pool Hours: The pool closes 30 minutes before the club closes each day. Any changes to this will be posted. Water Aerobics: We currently have an arthritis water aerobics class in cooperation with the Northeast Arkansas Area Agency on Aging.

Locker Rooms

Both our men's and women's locker rooms are supplied with multiple amenities such as shampoo, mouthwash, hairspray, body lotion, etc. Each has showers, lockers, restrooms, and a private entrance into the pool area.

Juice Bar

Visit our City Blendz Juice Bar for various types of protein shakes. Our juice

bar has delicious custom blendz including top-of-the-line supplements, energy-booster shooters, coffee, and healthy snacks. Ask our staff about the juice bar cards that are available. When purchased, these prepaid cards provide you with extra credit towards anything purchased at the juice bar. Watch for our shake of the month and our shake of the day. These shakes are 20% off each day. The City Blendz Juice Bar is available to members as well as to the general public. Call-in orders are also welcome. Come try a shake from the largest selection of healthy blendz on the planet!

So if you don't see me around anytime soon, just know I've drowned in that heated pool.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Being Older Means Things Change About Us

I've noticed a lot of things changing about myself over the last 46 years. Lots and lots of things. Not all for the worst either. Oh I know you're all thinking I'm talking about changes to our once at least mine anyways youthful, taut, ripe bodies. Sure our bodies got older what with all the gravity involved, new hairs shining where we don't really want them, sparse hair in other places, and certain parts of our bodies being dry, while other parts are extremely oily and wet. Putting all this aside I'm not talking about my body changing but several other things about myself.

Take taste for instance. In my younger days you could not make me eat certain foods. Like broccoli, cauliflower, Brussel sprouts, asparagus spears, olives. I've noticed since getting older that I have found myself wanting to try these particular types of foods. No this didn't occur over a one night span or even in one year, but in the course of years. When I was pregnant with my son 27 years ago I woke up one day craving, I mean totally craving, asparagus spears. This I found to be odd as I had never even tried them. Not one time. After trying them I was hooked for life. How had I ever not wanted to try them? I guess as we get older and mature our taste buds do as well. I like to think this is one of the perks of getting older. Trying new foods and not just acquiring a taste for them but actually liking and enjoying them from the get go. My poor mouth had been missing out.

Other changes I've noticed about myself over these last years is that I no longer care if I make the entire world happy around me. I no longer strive to fit in, be part of the "in crowd". You either like or you don't. I don't give a rats ass anymore. I am ME and happy to be this way. That's a huge bonus for me growing older. I used to be a real patsy and swear I had "use me and abuse me" stamped into my forehead. Not anymore I don't. I say it like it is! I've learned to stand up for myself in life, after all it's my job to do this. No one else's except mine. I've learned to be strong given these many years in life. And so help me God, watch out cause if I'm not careful I'll end up having many more "Tawanda" moments in life. You have to admit when you have one it feels great.

I've also noticed my change in clothing styles. Now instead of choosing what looks great no matter the cost and is in style, I go more for what's comfortable and still looks good. Classic styles that never go out of style. But at the same time being what suits me, not others. I like doing this, it makes me happy. It's just funny for the first time in my life I feel I can do this. If I don't want to wear makeup to work, who cares? I know I am more than makeup because what counts is me on the inside.

Another thing I've noticed about myself a lot is my change in music. I used to be and at times still am a huge rock fan, country fan, but now I am more drawn to New Age and Coffee House. My new play list is my new favorites. I have no idea what style of music this is. None whatsoever, someone please enlighten me on what style it is. I am clueless here. I caught myself one day listening to blogger friends play lists. Seeing what type of music they enjoyed listening to. The majority of these I have to admit I stole from Country Girl over at Dreams of a Country Girl. I am really glad I decided to listen in on her style of music. Now I'm hooked.

Has anyone else besides me noticed this type of change in yourself as you've gotten older? I really would like to know. Share with me some of your changes.

And remember to open your mind and explore new things. You might just like em. Be unique and yourself at all times. No matter what anyone else thinks.

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