Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I've Finally Gotten It Figured Out

Remember the other day when I said I was fixing to Take the Plunge and get back into shape before my body killed me? Well, I've finally figured out it's a conspiracy. My body is really trying to kill me. Oh I know what you're thinking "that's ridiculous your body can't do that" or "give me a break that's impossible". To you nay sayers I say "Yes it can and it tried". But I won out and am living proof you can beat it.

After making that statement about taking the plunge on the 8th, yes the exact date, my body did attempt to put me away for good. Came damn close I might add too. I came down with a stomach virus this according to the emergency room doctor, according to my inner doctor I came down with food poisoning. Either doctor was right however.

So I took the plunge in one way or another. I lost several pounds this past week. Not doctor recommended though and I wouldn't attempt this if I were you. It's not for the faint of heart or weak stomached person. However it's a wonderful way to shrink your stomach so it doesn't take near as much food to fill you up anymore. I consider this a plus to the new diet.

It's also a great new way to exercise. You get plenty of good steps (burn those leg muscles) heading to and from the bathroom. Which sometimes when the kids are home means you travel up and down a staircase to get to the bathroom up there in kid land, thus providing you the stair stepper exercise regimen. No good exercise program is complete without the stair stepper. Sometimes you even get to jog to and from. Another great exercise while in this condition is the "squeezing of the butt muscles". No need to explain how this one happens. I got me some tight butt cheeks now.

At the end of this grueling day of exercise the bonus is similar to a spa. You can take a luxurious hot bath, helps to bring the fever down by sweating,also to clean out your toxin infested pores, followed by doctor recommended medication. This medication helps you to exercise more during the night time hours. It induces sleep, so your not really thinking about all the exercise your getting while sleep walking to and from the bathroom. It's true you can burn calories while you sleep. Also lose weight at the same time.

For anyone who wants to try this new diet along with me simply comment and let me know. I'll be right over to visit and pass on the new diet to you as well. After all, that's what friends are for. To do new things together, give each other support and all. I am a great friend that way.


Mental P Mama said...

Ugh. Glad you are on the mend!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Happy to hear you are feeling better Chickie!

I'll pass on those diet pills!

Grandma J said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry you've been sick. I hate losing weight that way. Hope you are on the mend soon.

Country Girl said...

Oh, no thank you. But it was sweet of you to offer.

I really hope you're feeling better. At least you have your sense of humor!

Living on the Spit said...

Awww, I hope you are feeling better, I went through that one Christmas!

Keep up the spirit!


Gail said...

I had a diet like that once, had Russian Flu and pneumonia. Woke up a week later a size three which is totally cadaverious!
Not continuting my diet of hallucinations, high fever, and no food intake, I guickly balooned to my normal size.
Momma always said be careful what you ask for.
Take care!

Snooty Primadona said...

Oh crap! I'm going to have to pass on that, lol. I've already been down that road a few times. Sheer misery!

The Food Poisoning Diet & the Divorce Diet are never highly recommended, if at all.

I hope it won't be too long before you're back to feeling good again.

playsdolls said...

I need to loose a few extra pounds ,but I think I will try a different diet.Yours does not sound like much fun,been a long time since I had the pleasure of that diet.

XoXo Meg! said...

Oh T, glad you are feling better sweetie!

Oh yea, (subliminal message) do the yoga, do the yoga...

playsdolls said...

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