Friday, January 16, 2009

Going Home to Begin Again

"Exactly how many times can I start over again" I asked myself. You see for me this was number 3. My third and final divorce I vowed. I refused to be walked on, abused and taken for granted again. I refused to let Princess go through this again.

I knew when I left that late evening it would honestly be the very last time I was punched on, belittled and man-handled. I knew this because for the very first time, at the age of 40, I was going home. Home to mom and dad, family and the small town I grew up in. Where everyone knew me, from birth, to my first steps to watching me graduate high school with such high hopes. I knew in my mind that if I went home again, those people, my family would help to rebuild the confidence I had lost oh so many years ago. They would not let me go back!

Princess and I pulled into my parents drive way after the sun had long set in the sky. With only a very few things packed or should I say thrown into my little Plymouth Neon. Thrown into the car as objects (both large and small) were being thrown at us. A day I have tried to bury deep into the recesses of my brain, but one which resurfaces occasionally to remind me that I never will go back.

I remember after pulling into the drive way sitting for a few moments in the car just staring and thinking. That's when it hit me full force. Like opening both barrels of a shotgun and blasting away at something. The tears came then, in great gulps I sucked in the night air. "It's finally over" I remember thinking. "We are safe for the first time in years". I composed myself and took Princess's hand and together we walked through the back door. To.begin.again...................................................................


This is how my new life started at the age of 40. This is the beginning of my new life, my new self confidence, and the new me.

I thought I would share the life leading up to where I am today, and how Trucker and I met. How I discovered how to love life again.

Follow me down the path if you will. It's not all going to be gloom and doom. However I do want to share how you can start over and have the life you've always dreamed of.


6 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

Good for you. It's never too late to get things right. Good for you!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

(tears) I am so happy about the new start and very proud of you for being so brave! You're a strong lady and we all deserve only the best. I'm gonna hold your hand and you can hold mine!
God's Blessings my friend!
NNG

Snooty Primadona said...

Believe me, I know how hard it must have been. I've worked with abused women & children. It was heart-breaking.

But, YaY! for you! And then you found The Trucker. I guess God decided you'd had enough & decided to give you a Prince...

Sondre Lyn said...

Oh my, what a brave strong woman you are... not only running from abuse but going home again. Neither of those things must have been easy.

Geri said...

I don't think it matters how many times you get married, just that at some point you get it right. Sounds like you've done that. Good job!

Asphalt Widow said...

Wow..good for you for finding the courage to start over!!