Sunday, January 25, 2009

Begin Again Part 3

I'm not going to say it was easy because in truth it was quite the opposite. It was hard starting over and going back home. It was also what I needed. I needed this to keep my sanity, get back my life and learn who I was. Who deep down I actually was after all those years had gotten left by the wayside. Who was I really? What made me tick? All questions that in time came to be answered.

Even though you go back home to your parents at the age I was, life is still quite different. After about one week of babying me, scolding me and loving me the parents laid down the ground rules. We are here to help, we are here as long as you need us, we will provide a roof, food and utilities. But you find work, quickly, and pay your way and save money to get out. All these rules were understood and understood well. It's hard to go from how you live your life, with your way of cleaning, cooking and all that to your parents rules. But we made it work. I didn't' agree with all their ways and they didn't agree with mine. However it was their house and I respected them dearly. They were giving me the opportunity to begin again.

I immediately wanted to start divorce proceedings and file. However I found out that since I had moved I had to wait a number of months to start this. I still think this rule is unfair and wrong. I left a very bad situation but I was the one being punished for moving out of it. However again, rules are rules. I had to live with them.

Almost everyone of my things such as furniture, personal items and such were all still in a storage unit in Tennessee. I contacted the storage unit personnel and found out that since it was in the soon to be ex's name I couldn't even get my own things. Even if I paid the monthly storage. I had to wait till the ex got behind in the payments before I could get my own things. And then I had to purchase all of my belongings back from the rental agency. Once more I felt as if I were being punished for something I had no control over. For things I had not done wrong. My belongings but since I had been dumb enough to have the unit in his name I had to buy my own things back. Once again, rules I had to live with.

After a few weeks my parents went with me to the ex's to pick up what I had there from his parent's outbuilding where the ex had placed what little Princess and I had had in the travel trailer and other things not in the storage unit. I knew I didn't want to go alone and no way was my parents letting me. I contacted ex's parents and made arrangements with them to pick all this up when the ex was not going to be there. Upon getting there and starting to load all this stuff the soon to be ex steps out from behind a building. His parents had lied to me. Why did I find this so surprising? It took all my dad's restraint to not beat this person into a pulp and leave laying there on the ground. While insults were being thrown at me and my family we managed to keep our mouths shut and not do anything wrong. My dad is a very strong man. My mother however is strong but also threw her own insults. God love my mother for this. The ride home was long. I cried so much but not because of what I thought was love for this horrible person, but because here I was 40 years old and having to get my parents involved once more in the mistakes I had made in my life. I remember vowing I would never put them into this type situation again.


I started looking for work within one week of moving back home. I had skills of all kinds but no degree in anything but Respiratory Therapy. Then it was only a state license which wouldn't even get me a job in the field I loved so much. By this many years having gone by the rules were different for the certificates needed to work in a hospital. Once again those damn rules kept popping up.

No matter where I looked for work, or how many applications I filled out I could find nothing. I kept telling my parents and family I didn't want their help in this. I wanted to do it on my own. After another couple of weeks beggars can't be choosers. I needed to work for my sanity as well as to take care of Princess and I. Pay my part of the bills and save to get out on my own. So I broke down and asked for their help once more. If you aren't from a small town you my not understand this, but in a small town it's all in who you know when it comes to finding work. Strings pulled for you and small town's are known for this. You do what you have to do. My sister got me a job as a administrative assistant to a local attorney. I had the job before ever actually applying and interviewing for it.

I interviewed on a Monday and was hired (of course) before walking out. I didn't start work till the following Monday but was paid before leaving from the interview for that entire week. I had found a savior of a man in that attorney. He was my new hero, my light in shining armor. I worshipped him. And still do to this very day. We developed a wonderful working relationship as well as friendship. I worked there for the remainder of my time in that small town till even after Trucker and I married.

I came home from that job interview finally knowing life was beginning again for me and Princess. I could now hold my head even higher knowing I had found a job I could be proud of. I burst threw the back door again and told my family the news. They were as happy for me as I was of myself.................................


To be continued..............................


Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

OK T~I'm on the edge of my seat!

Living on the Spit said...

You and I are sisters as well as so many others. I too, am so glad that something such as blogging has brought us together as friends. I love you, are strength for me to know that sharing my story is the right thing to do...

There will be a scared woman one day who will come across your words and will find hope and peace in them.

Keep it up and I look forward to sharing your journey with you.


Country Girl said...

I know about all these rules because I've had friends who have gone through all this.

I'm sorry that this has all happened to you but that old adage is true, isn't it? "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

Good for you.

My Metabolic Rate is Stuck said...

Good for you! Can't wait to hear the rest!

playsdolls said...

You have done a great job at getting your life back together,you should be so proud of yourself and you have wonderful parents that helped you along the way.And I know about living in a small town where it is who you know.It can be a hard situtation in a small town.

Mental P Mama said...

I know so many people who have walked this tough path. In spite of the rules, we all persevere. God Bless you and your family.

littletoesandcheerios said...

Wow. I know it's hard to have to go back home, but sometimes that's what it takes. I too am from a small town and I know what you are saying. You remind me so much of my Mom. And I have been in Princess' shoes too many times. My Mom still tends to fall for the wrong man. We moved in with my Grandma for a while as I was growing up. I bet you & your daughter have a strong bond because of all this. So happy that you are doing well now. :) Thanks for sharing.