Begin Again Part 2

Mom and Dad had no idea at all that we were there, outside their back door. In fact I had not seen them for about two weeks or talked to them. They had driven up to see me a few weeks prior to visit and make sure I was doing OK. I had been hurt in an accident at work and had ended up with massive amounts of stitches in my face, broken thumb and a busted up knee cap.

I was a sight to see the day they came to visit. I still had those stitches and a thumb splint on and walking on crutches. I was also outside hobbling around using a rake. So was Princess as well. We were attempting to rake the yard at our house site. Yeah you couldn't call it much more than that because we lived in a travel trailer on a few acres of land down the road from the ex's parents house. I think back now and can't imagine ever letting myself live in those conditions. Worse I can't imagine having put Princess in those conditions. We shared (the three of us) a very small travel trailer with no running water. We did have electricity which the ex had stolen (from the way he hooked it up) from the electric company. For some reason I can't quite fathom now I thought I loved this man enough to have placed Princess and I in this position.

I wish I knew (even after all these years) why I thought when you loved someone you had to suffer things. Love is not like that. I had been told years prior to marrying number 3 that since I was a health care worker, I thought I could help and cure everyone. I had that type of nurturing personality. I took in strays and thought I would make their lives better. I guess in many ways I did. I enabled them to continue their drug habits, their drinking habits and their horrible lifestyles. All the while bringing mine and Princess's down.

That day mom and dad came was one of embarrassment to me. It always was when my parents came to visit. I guess because deep down inside I knew they were right, I was better than what I was living.

That day was also the first anniversary of our wedding. In that years time I had gained nothing, not one thing. I had went from working as a respiratory therapist, to moving half a dozen times, giving up a career I loved to working in a motel as a desk clerk to living in a nice house to a travel trailer. What had happened to me?

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Princess and I walked through that door with our heads held high and tears running down our faces. I remember my parents were sitting at the bar in the kitchen eating their supper and looked up at us in shock. Princess and I looked like a couple of dirty homeless people carrying our little ditty bags with us. The first words out of my mother's mouth was "Well it's about damn time you came home". I burst into tears and they both got up and hugged us close. The tears continued flowing for a long time. Not so much in sadness but in the joy that I knew I wouldn't go back. I knew when I came that far that there was no turning back for me.

I slept better that night, snuggled next to Princess, than I had in years. I was at peace and safe.

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To be continued..................