Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Two Weeks of Marriage

Two Weeks Of Marriage

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the
husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to
go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back"

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered.

I'm going to have a beer."


The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him

25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different
countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.


The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing

that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... But at

the bar... You know...they have frozen glasses... "


He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted

him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so

frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.


The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll,

but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are

really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back.

I promise. OK?"


"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the

oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken

wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches...


"But my sweet honey.... At the bar.... You know there's swearing,

dirty words and all that..."


"Dirty words you want, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT!

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER

IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES,

BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED NOW AND YOUR ASS AIN'T GOING

TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT JACKASS?"

And...they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

MARRIED LIFE..........................MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP


4 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

Thanks for the morning laugh. Love it!

Julie said...

OMG, I just sent that to my best friend, who had this issue with her husband of 3 months, a few weeks ago! Funny shit!

Gail said...

Wonderful...I'm still smiling!

Snooty Primadona said...

Those were, I believe, my exact words to hubby, so many fond years ago.

The problem is that you jump thirty years down the road and you wish they would go to a bar, but they won't, lol. Just another one of life's little Catch-22's.