Monday, June 1, 2009

Boobs, A Love/Hate Relationship

I interrupt the regular scheduled program of Simple Womans Daybook to discuss Boobs, Love/Hate Relationship. Wow! Talk about totally not what a simple womans post would be. What I am about to share with you is personal and might be a little TMI, but I know you will understand, and really I don't care if you do, it's my blog.

As we all know by now, and if you don't man do I feel for you, that boobs come in all sizes. Small, little, microscopic, petite, large, larger and enormous. You know those kind, the ones that look like God dropped 2 watermelons on their chest. We also have the kind that are perky, wish mine still were, face south, hang low, point skyward and are in between. And for the record mine hangs low, faces south but still point upwards. Does that make sense? Anyway, I was blessed with a nice chest size, I guess it's blessed although there have been many times I would love to have reduction surgery. I'm quite sure Trucker would say blessed but what the hell does he know he doesn't carry em around. At the moment I'm not feeling to damn blessed with em. Here's where I need you and your help. Don't run away it's not that horrible.

Each spring and summer I get heat rashes. See I said might be TMI. Awful, horrible, hurting heat rashes. I shower daily, use baby powder and stay somewhat dry. As much as you can when the humidity in the south is 100% most of the time. No matter what I do I still have a heat rash. and it hurts. I've seriously considered placing soft clothes under each hanging boobie. Thinking this might actually help, after all I never leave home much so who the hell will see.

Now after all this weird and probably disqusting information here's where you come in. Do you have this problem? Anyone got any suggestions other than wacking em off as to what to do? Am I the only one on earth with this problem? During the hot months I would gladly trade these puppies, well not so much puppies anymore, more like doggies, for smaller perkier bird egg sized ones, the ones that don't hang low. Help me............................................

Bet you wish it was the Simple Womans Daybook post now don't cha?

12 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

You know...if they are impacting your health and your back, your insurance might cover it....otherwise, I guess you just have to wear a strong bra...sorry.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I'm really on the slack side when it comes to boobs but check out this website

http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/19/115.cfm

I wont say hang in there.
Love ya!

~DK~ said...

When I worked in the nursing home we would alternate between using gold bond powder (the kind with corn starch) and baby desitin. Consider that it develops for the same reason that diaper rash does... sweat (moisture), heat, and chaffing.

Good Luck!!

Living on the Spit said...

I use anti-perspiarant under the twins and it works wonders!!!

Gail said...

Corn starch is what my Grandma always advised and she was a midwife.

I just tuck my shirt under...new take on tucking your shirt in!

In public, I have to strap 'em up and down and endure.

Snooty Primadona said...

Honestly, I so know where you're coming from! I've used the deodorant method as well as the Gold Bond with cornstarch but neither one works all the time.

I guess that you need an Over-The-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder, like me. It sucks. And if I weren't so afraid to go under the knife again, I swear I'd get them cut off. They always make me look at least 10 pounds heavier than I am.

I have PERMANENT scars on my shoulders from trying to hold the girls up. A fight which I'm in the process of losing. I can't seem to find a bra that squishes and hides that second set of boobs under my arms, that run to the backside. If someone would come up with something like that, they'd make a freaking fortune. And Spanx & all those things are too damned hot for summer wear....

Auds at Barking Mad said...

I tend to agree with Mental P Mama on this. If your rash turns into any kind of skin infection you have a good case for your insurance to approve a reduction because it's medically ness.

I totally get where you're coming from...believe me, with 44DD's hanging off of me, summer time is a bitch.

I get by with a good underwire that doesn't roll (they're expensive though...upwards of $60 per over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder), and I use Gold Bond powder. I also sleep in a cotton tee type of bra or a cotton sports bra and use powder at night too.

Hope that helps.

Beckyanne said...

I too have this problem. I wear only these bras - they wick the moisture away. Also I use a blow dryer on low to make sure I am dry and a little gold bond or shower to shower powder. These bras are at Walmart and other stores and can be found for around $16. I never put them in the dryer and can get about 2 years out of one.
http://www.playtexbras.com/styles/18hour/detail.asp?style=4088

GingerJar said...

Personally, I am not well-endowed nuff to suffer from this...but as a RN I see it frequently...especially with summertime here. If it is really painful and there is any sloughing of tissue (like a raging case of diaper rash under the girls) I suggest getting the Doctor to call you in an order for Nystatin powder. The powder only needs to be used very sparingly (it's for fungal problem and it works very well). Otherwise, corn-starch powders are a good option. We actually do put thin, soft pillow-cases between the girls and the ribs to keep the skin from sticking together. Seems like somebody would manufactor something that would stay in place.

Anonymous said...

I, too, used all the products these ladies suggested. But, then I stumbled upon a product called "Anti-Monkey Butt Powder" and it works great! Around my area, you can purchase it at Tractor Supply Co. or I think Farm & Fleet. You can also buy it on ebay, and it's usually cheaper. I highly recommend it. I gave some to a friend who was going to South America, and her husband used it on his "privates" to prevent chafing. Said it worked wonders in the heat & humidity. Since I have been using that powder, I NEVER get the rash or chafing under my boobs!

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