Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mr. Fixer Upper

At the risk of showing you pictures of my home and at the risk of making Trucker out to be a goof up, I just want to share the laughs. Not mind you Trucker has never said he is a Mr. Fix Upper but God Bless Him he tries. This weekends particular fixer has got him baffled however. To the point he has lost sleep. Now before I begin with the latest challenge let me tell you about some of his previous challenges. Prepare to laugh. See warning you about spitting your coffee on the monitor.

Several months ago our shower in the bath downstairs developed an awful leak. I mean terrible. Our water bill doubled in one month the leak was so bad. It had to be fixed or go into the poor house. Now one would think that would be an easy challenge. A simple switch of taking out the tub surround, replacing the faucets and putting the bathroom back in order. NOT for Mr. Fixer Upper. See since our house was built in the 1930's nothing is made easy. In fact our bathroom had a small addition built at some point later. This new little small addition was built around the shower surround. Yup, you read it right! They placed the shower surround and the toilet into this tiny add on and built the walls around them afterwards. There was absolutely no way we could take the shower surround out and fix the faucet. Unless of course we wanted to knock a wall out first. Naturally this was not what we did, nor could afford it. Still thinking well, how hard could this be? Trucker explained it to me quite simply. Just cut a small hole around the faucets, replace the faucet and then use a matching caulk or putty substance and place the hole cut out back. OK, not going to be the prettiest thing but then again, no one comes to visit often or uses are shower. I could live with it. I actually had no choice. Challenge started with great intentions.



As you can now see Trucker did not have a matching caulk or putty and this is what I ended up with. Isn't it beautiful? That beige caulk just blends right in and no one would even know we had repaired a leaky faucet. Trucker does amazing work. He is available for hire you know? Just let me know and I'll happily lend him out. Are you wondering why the extra hole with that gorgeous black caulk around it at the bottom? Well I did as well and asked why the electrical outlet looking hole honey? Quite simply explained once more. "I dropped the water line and it fell to the bottom, I had to cut that to get the water line". Oh darn it, it would have been too much trouble to have asked me to help? I didn't' fuss to much nor complain to terribly much. After all he didn't say he was Mr. Fixer Upper.

Now moving on. You remember me telling you are dryer bit the dust a couple of weeks ago. Well this is the results of that challenge. Our washer dryer is one of those Gawd Awful stackable kinds. I hate those things! so in order for Trucker aka Mr. Fixer Upper to be able to work on this
dryer he had to take the controls out. I mean it was the motor after all. After blowing several fuses in the house that weekend and hearing several cuss words coming from the laundry room this is what my washer dryer combo now looks like.

Who says duct tape doesn't cure all? I mean just look at it. Doesn't it make you want to do laundry? Mr. Fixer Upper at least left the washer in working order. Although now you have to work around all that duct tape to find the controls for it. Hey, it could be worse? I could have to pick the controls up off the top of the washer and attempt to turn them on that way. Redneck design at it's finest people.

Now the latest and greatest challenge of them all. Our bathroom once again. We
have two light switches and one electrical outlet in there. Lucky in that day and age of building to have the one damn electrical switch. Well not anymore I'm not! Our one outlet that controls the lighting over the sink and the one electrical switch quit working. One day I turned the bathroom light on and when I turned it off the flipper wouldn't come back on. It was frozen. Probably frozen in the year 1940, but who knows. So Mr. Fixer, not being one to leave things well enough alone, decided he could tackle this new challenge. Oh Gawd help us all. Another weekend of cursing, screaming and foul mood abounds. The family that fixes together, and curses together, stays together!!

Now how hard could this be I wondered? All the while praying Trucker turned off the power and lived to tell about it. So off goes the power, to which Rug Rats 1 & 2 thought they would die. I mean what children can live without cartoons and computers? Not ours that's for sure. Mr. Fixer Upper has already been to Lowe's which is a hop skip and a jump away. you know the hop and skip of a drive for 30 miles, one way? He grabs his tools, heads to the power box and thus begins the journey of repair. He looked so adorable in his tool belt I happily watched for a whole.............................minute. He removed the bad switch and replaced with the new and improved version. It only took him 3 hours and 500 curse words later. Wit
h at least 8 moments of having to stop to explain to the Rug Rats how much longer the power would be off. What is it with kids? You tell them daddy is in a bad mood and to stay away from him, but it's like moths drawn to a flame. Do not under any circumstances ask a man under pressure, who by the way is holding a large screwdriver, how much longer it's gonna be. They just keep going back for more punishment. Challenge finally finished. Mr. Fixer Upper is all proud of himself and I must say it doesn't look bad. The light is now working along with the outlet. About 30 minutes later I enter the kitchen to prepare supper. Rug Rat 1 comes in to have a snack of her usual Ramen noodles. She places her bowl into the microwave and presses the power button. We both then stand back and laugh like a couple of hyenas at what happens next. Each time she presses the button the microwave comes on for two seconds but the bathroom lights come on!! and then go off!! She tried about 5 attempts while her and I are laughing our asses off. Yell to Mr. Fixer Upper now that something has gone terribly wrong. Mr. Fixer is not a happy camper at this point. Especially when he cannot control our laughter. He doesn't believe us. We show him! and burst out again. He works on this challenge a little longer before calling it quits. Does it work now? Oh hell no was his reply. Now my light works in there, my electrical outlet does not and neither does the microwave outlet. Can't wait for next weekend to come.



If I'm not here on Monday, well..............................................my house burned down. Or Mr. Fixer Upper went up in smoke and fire, or he killed me with the screwdriver. LOL.


20 comments:

Living on the Spit said...

Awww, bless Trucker's heart. He is so wonderful and I think they are perfect becuase his heart went into them.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

God love you baby!(tears from laughter~sorry)and rolling on the floor!

Dial 1-800- MR. FIX IT!
While he's out of town!

Snooty Primadona said...

I think he & Mr. Snooty went to the same handy man school. What is it with duct tape? Men just love to use that stuff for repairs.

Very funny story...

Snooty Primadona said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grandma J said...

At least he made an attempt. Gotta give him that :)

Mental P Mama said...

That has to be the funniest stuff I've seen in months. Seriously. That bathtub belongs on America's Funniest Home Videos, or something. So do the washer and the microwave/bathroom light magic. Too funny.

Innkeeper Seely said...

I have been in need of a good laugh, the dryer did it for me. As the resident Maintainence Department I sympathize with Trucker. I also suggest a very good guide to electricity before he starts on the switch again.

Hint: they sell patch plates for that shower faucet if it really bugs you

playsdolls said...

Well I guess you can not get more Red Neck than that shower and washer and dryer.What a great laugh you have given us today.But all laughing aside your Trucker did at least give it a try.You have to give him credit for wanting to fix it himself.

Jettie said...

OOiam so sorry to be laughing as hard as I am right now!!! my side hurts from this laughing..OOHH you can't be serious can you? Iam sorry but where on earth were you when he put that black cauking on??? oohh lordy this was funny!!!
I must indeed show Grizzly this!!
and the duct tape?? what a hoot............now He can fix the truck ........right???

Sondre Lyn said...

What a crackup! It is great he keeps on giving it a try, though. I think I would have given up by now! :D

Next time I go to AR, (And I'm not in such a paniced hurry!) I'll let you know. It would be fun to get together for coffee or something.

Julie said...

OMG. LOL...stop! You're killing me with this!

Gail said...

Hilarious! I bet hubby's not laughing.

gin said...

This is hilarious. It's like there is no end. I gotta see what he fixes on his next day home!!

jettied said...

Grizzly speaking...after much laughing..said" See honey it is not just me"!! Your part on the kids drawn to that...how true and when ever grizzly is knee deep in fixing something...they just wanna help...or steal the tools!!!
My grizzly doesn't think he's a handyman...but I do know different!!! most hilarious post I say!!!

Treasia said...

I just wanted to say to everyone, I love Trucker very very much. He knew I was posting this and he doesn't care in the least. He says if he can't laugh at himself then life is no fun. Besides, I didn't marry him for his Fixer Upper capabilities. LOL. Obviously!!!

Becky said...

I SO agree with everyone. I have been laughing so hard I am crying. And each time it got better (err worse?) I laughed harder and harder. Oh pleaaase do tell more Mr. Trucker Fixer Upper stories! What a hoot. I am now going back to read it all again :-) ~ Becky

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Oh dear!!!! Hone, are you sure that your hunny is not my hunny??
I have seen these very kinds of jobs in my own lovenest.
I dunno girl, I just laugh it off :). I'm sure that you do as well, lol.
Take good care and......

Steady On
Reggie Girl

xoxo~ Meg said...

It's all about the effort honey...bless his heart...and yours!

Love you! You have a little something on my blog.

Laurie and Chris said...

OMG!! At least he tried!!

Gail said...

I've been thinking and that is never good!

If you do matching geometric art all over your tub and surround in the same color as the repair, you can call it art and not a mistake.