Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, April 28, 2008

Birthday Boy/Little Man

My little man turned five last week and according to his mother was not to thrilled with the fact. She had been telling him that when he turned five he would no longer be a baby, but rather, would be a big boy and soon be starting kindergarten. "No momma stop singing Happy Birthday to me because I don't want to be a big boy, I wanna be a baby." This is what the birthday boy said last week to his mother when at 6 am she woke him to get ready for daycare.

Becoming a grandmother was one of the happiest days of my life when it happened 5 years ago. I had made, ok really asked and begged, my son to hold off till I at least turned 40 before making me a Nana and thankfully he complied. I couldn't imagine being a grandmother before this age and was quite happy he waited. Although honestly I don't figure my begging had anything to do with it really. I still remember the day quite vividly. Funny how the mind works this way, I can't remember what I had to eat yesterday but can recall this day in all it's joy. Though sometimes the exact date escapes me, for this I use Princess's brain to remember these small details for me.
The night my daughter in law went into labor her and my son stopped by my house on the way to the hospital per my instructions. No way was I being left out of this grand event regardless of the time of day or the day itself. It was very late in the evening when this happened and I was getting ready for bed. My poor DIL was excited, scared and thrilled to be in labor. She was also scared to death to ride to the hospital with my son. Son was driving like a maniac since he was scared and excited too. So off we went, her and I alone in my car and poor son in their car alone. I know strange but that's the way it was. We arrived naturally in plenty of time since this was DIL's first baby, in fact we had time to spare. Hours to be exact.....we waited patiently for little man to come into the world.

My son and DIL wanted me in the labor and delivery room with them for this occasion. I didn't want to be anywhere else either. I couldn't imagine being outside in the waiting room pacing the floors. I wanted in there as well. For the most part I tried to stay out of the way, only talking when needed and let my son handle things and take care of his wife. I enjoyed seeing the play of emotions going across both of their faces during this time and hearing the exchange of words passed between them. Words like: "Don't you ever come near me again, this is all your fault" as said by DIL. To which I remember smiling and remembering saying those exact words myself. "This hurts like hell" once more my DIL saying it like it is. To be honest though her delivery and labor sure beat the hell out of mine. She was in labor around 14 hours with no stitches needed and barely any pain meds. Lucky her!!

Little Man arrived early the morning of April 23, 2003 and weighed in at 5 lbs. 5 ozs. The most beautiful baby in all the world. Next to his father and aunt of course. I cried big tears of joy and happiness and couldn't wait to get my hands on him. When I finally was able to do so I really honestly didn't want to give him back. Of course I had to but damn it was hard.

I spent the night with DIL that first night and loved every single minute of being Nana and helping when needed. I gave Little Man his second bottle and remember holding him so close and cooing to him and making him promises about the future. I remember his mother sleeping and me being able to have those precious times alone that night. I was overwhelmed with joy, memories, emotions and pride.

Little Man and I have spent many hours together. It's wonderful being a grandmother. Words sometimes cannot describe the feeling. My only wish is that he lived closer to me so that I could spend more time with him.

Saturday, April 26, 2008


When I was a single mother, before trucker and I married obviously or I wouldn't have been single, huh? , I lived three doors down from my sister in a nice apt. complex very close to where her and I grew up. As well, we worked very closely together in our little town. We were all of about 10 doors down from one another, me, in the law office, her, in the bank. My sister and I developed a very strong bond during this period of my life. When I first married and left home she was only 14 years old and even though I tried to come home often, it was not often enough. She grew up without me. We have a brother who is 15 years my junior, so you don't have to figure this, it made him 11 years her junior. We like to refer to little brother as "Oopsy Daisy" as he came as quite a surprise to both my parents. As well as sis and I. Now sis and oopsy were very close. In fact so close that when my sis moved out of mom and dad's that oopsy moved in with her while he was attending college. So needless to say they were and still are very very close. Not only do they have the sis and brother bond, but also a sorta mother/son bond as well. So anyway I missed out on both of their lives for a long time. I didn't have the same kind of bond with either of them as they share with one another.

However when sis and I lived so close and for three years of my single motherhood, we bonded. We became true deep down friends. She was a rock I could lean on, a wonderful support system for myself and became a second mother to Princess. Since I worked full time days and part time nights, she spent a lot of time with Princess and helped me through those years. I don't think in all honesty I could have made it through without her help, her love and her support. Both of us single and living a good life together. We done almost everything together. I will cherish those years for the rest of my life.

After trucker and I married and I moved away we weren't able to see one another as often. This was hard on both of us. After all we had done so much during that time. We not only shopped together, we would walk to each others and watch tv at night, and do all sorts of sisterly things. We even had a camper at a lake resort which we went to almost every weekend during those summer months. We had the time of our lives together. I actually went through some sort of strange grieving process when we moved apart.

So this made last nights outing that much more special for the both of us. The concert was great, the seating was awesome, the dinner was special. And most importantly we laughed, and laughed and laughed some more. We bonded again. We also vowed that come hell or high water as we southern ladies often say that we would find more time for these outings. We would MAKE time for them so that we could continue to come home for years to come, after our "girl's nights out" ,and have sore faces from laughing and smiling so much.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Collective Soul - Shine (Video)

It's been a long time coming

But today is the day!! I haven't had a ladies night out in so long I have probably forgotten what to do or how to act. Seriously I can't remember the last one I had with my sister and girlfriend. But tonight we are taking the night, just us three, to go to Snowden Grove Amphitheatre in Southaven, MS to watch Collective Soul in concert. I am getting myself geared up and ready by listening to some of their music on CD and watching some YouTube video's as well. Not to mention washing my favorite pair of jeans. We have been planning this for a month now. It's my sister's belated birthday present to me. Gotta love my sister cause she seems to know what I need and when I need it most.

Oh Jesus, I was just fixing to say pray for no rain and it's freaking raining outside now. NO, this can't happen, not today, oh please go away!!! I knew I shouldn't have called the place and asked if I could take an umbrella. Damn me for this. Now I gotta dig out the ugly raincoat. Well as long as there's no lightening we are not going to let this dampen our night.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Tagged, I'm It

First off let me say a big Thank You to Meg of Lucchese to Louis Vuitton for awarding me this sweet award. This is the first one I have received since blogging and means a lot to me. Meg also tagged me for my first "10 Weird or Random Facts" about myself. So grab hold of your seats and let's get started.

10 Weird or Random Facts about little ole Me:

1. For 15 years of my adult life I had the same middle and last name both spelled exactly the same. May and May. Imagine going through life writing your name as Treasia May May. It sucked.

2. I went out with my first husband on a dare!

3. I once placed third place in the State Queen's contest at the state horse show. I had first place won till my beloved horse thought we could leave the arena. That bitch!

4. I was a cheerleader from 4th grade through my 12th grade year of school.

5. I'm allergic to my own spit. Kinda gross but little known fact.

6. I once dislocated my shoulder during sex! Yes, you can laugh about it if you want too. I found it quite hilarious later that morning myself.

7. I have a granddaughter that was born on 6/6/06 Never will forget her birthday.

8. During my mother's labor with me my dad was given a choice of "if only one can make it, who do you choose"? He chose my mother. NaNaNa, I showed him.

9. One time I crawled from the window of one truck into the window of another truck while they were both going 70 miles an hour down the two lane country road. Sure hope my parents don't read this.

10. I met my hubby (trucker) on an internet dating site.

So there you have it. Some weird and random facts that you probably in all reality which you had never known about me. If you would like further details on any of the above feel free to ask, my life is an open book. I keep no secrets about myself and it's impossible to actually embarrass me. So ask away!

I think I'll tag: Erin @ Raising Country Kids, Kacey @ Wine On the Keyboard, Kate @ Chronicles of a Country Girl, Jill Shalvis @ Jill Shalvis, Nancy @ The Other Side of 40. Have fun ladies and looking forward to your weird and random facts.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

It was bound to happen

After two glorious days of being in a wonderful mood, sleeping well at night and just enjoying my time outside it was bound to happen again. I should have known it, should have felt it coming but somehow I didn't. "What's that?" you ask? Let me tell you. It's ME, waking in the middle of the night and being a real bitch in every sense of the word. Yes, sometimes it happens to the best of us.

Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night and looked over at your hubby and just thought to yourself how nice it would feel to slap the shit out of him? I do on the rare occasions have these horrible thoughts. Of course I would never act on them. Shame on me, but I do think them. He hasn't done the first thing really to make me feel this way, except that he can sleep well at any time, any place and whatever position he happened to lie down in. Hell he doesn't even have to be in a particular position!! Me, on the other hand, I have to take a sleeping pill and hope and pray to God nothing moves in the bed or makes a slight noise or I am awake once more. God forbid I have a hot flash like last night and disturb my slumber.

This is how I woke at 12:30 am today. Sleeping next to a built in electric blanket does not help when this happens. I woke, threw the covers off, looked at my trucker thought my horrible thought, grabbed the air conditioner remote control and aimed it. Nothing happened. It wouldn't work. I tried to lower the thermostat for a couple of seconds which seemed like an eternity and it wouldn't cooperate at all. Now mind you the air conditioner is only maybe three feet from me and I could have gotten out of bed and turned it down manually but hell I was irritated and had sweat dripping off my chin and running down between my breasts. So instead I threw the remote at it thinking this would work. Well needless to say it didn't. It only awakened trucker that asshole who for some damn reason thought this meant he should reach out and attempt snuggling. If there are any men reading this, just because a woman moves during the night, this is not a sign of a sexual advance to you. Attempt your next maneuver with caution. For trucker lived to regret it.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

How Marked Tree got it's Name

forsythia said...

Hi, I know I am going to enjoy visiting your blog. I will be back often. I never know where to leave comments about comments made on my own blog...if you return to my post about my mother and her non-existent social life, you'll see my comment on your comment.

A question: why is your town named Marked Tree? Is it something to do with dogs or is it the logging industry?

Well Forsythia it isn't either dogs nor logging.

I asked trucker when we first started dating how the town got it's unusual name and he supplied me with a brief answer at that time. Here is what I learned via the web. The article also has a picture that trucker's aunt took "back in the day".


'THE MARKED TREE' A Story of How Our Town Got Its Name Years Ago

Marked Tree, Arkansas, is the only town in the world named Marked Tree. Moreover, we can't find another town in the world located between two rivers a quarter of a mile apart flowing in opposite directions.

In the spring of 1881 a railroad camp was moved southward over the newly laid tracks as work continued on the last 30 miles of the Kansas City, Fort Scott and Memphis Railroad (now the Frisco railroad) between Kansas City and Memphis. The camp, for the lack of an established name, was called Edwards, Arkansas, after Mr. Jonathan C. Edwards who was in charge of building the railroad and to whom the camp's mail was directed.

The flood of 1913
photo courtesy Marion Dawson

It was slow, hard going. A hundred or more workers used mules and scrapers to build an elevated right of way where they could in these "sunken lands", or for long stretches they put the tracks up on trestles to allow the overflow water to flow through. "Sunken lands" were caused by the great New Madrid Earthquake of 1811-1813 which caused this entire area to sink 3 to 9 feet. Until levees were built in 1893 the land overflowed every spring; the major floods of 1912, 1913, 1927 and 1937 were caused by levees breaking.

It took 2 ½ years to complete this last gap in the railroad and during this time a small number of settlers attracted by the railroad moved into the area. These settlers and the trappers and traders who lived from place to place in the general area found they could send and receive mail at the railroad camp. Mr. Edwards foresaw the need for a permanent post office after the railroad was completed and the camp left the area. Accordingly, he advised the settlers to decide upon a name for the settlement so a petition would be made to Washington, D.C. for a post office. When the first train to Memphis passed through on November 21, 1883, Mr. Edwards went with it and the camp pulled out.

The settlers chose "Marked Tree" because of the "old marked tree" on the bank of the Saint Francis River near the railroad camp. Now we come to the most interesting part of all - how did the "marked tree" come to be in the first place?

The aboriginal people in the region of the Saint Francis and Little Rivers were Indians. In the early 1800's the Osage and Cherokees roamed these woods largely by using the rivers as their highways. There was a superabundance of game and all the rivers abounded with fish. Pioneer Arkansas was widely known as a sportsman's country also suited to farming.

The Indians traveling northward up the Saint Francis River marked a tree at the first point at which Little River is only ¼ mile distant across the land between the rivers. By dragging their dugout canoes across this short portage to Little River they could continue their trip northward and eliminate eight miles of up-river paddling.

There is another legend from the 1830's about the mark on this huge oak tree. The John A. Murrell outlaw gang had hideouts in the White River swamps below Helena. They gambled, robbed, waylaid travelers, stole horses and even slaves, and resold what they could in east Arkansas and west Tennessee. They found the short portage at the "old marked tree" and marked it with a big "M." They used this site as a place to rendezvous.

Whichever legend handed down to people still living here you believe (they both may be true), the "marked tree" was undermined and fell into the river during the overflow of 1890. This large oak was a few hundred feet from the original bridge across the Saint Francis River. During the digging into the bank to build a new bridge in 1971, a large well preserved oak tree trunk was unearthed. This tree trunk is believed to have been the original marked tree and has been put on display with a historical marker in the center of Marked Tree.

In any case, there is not another Marked Tree in the world. What could be more unique than that?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Who I Am

One of my favorite blogs to read daily is Snooty Primadona's and a song on her play list gave me the idea for today's blog post. I had never heard this song before and absolutely fell in love with it. It seems to sum up how I feel about having reached middle age to a T. I have had many many lives in my life. To me this makes perfect sense. Over the course of my life I have been many things with various personalities at one time or another. All of which were me during this time and have made me into the person I am today. Those different personalities gave me the wrinkles, the lines grooved into my face from smiling widely, the crinkles on the corners of my eyes from the same, the scowl in between my eyes from worry and doubt, are all a part of me. I also had lots of growing up to do along the way and many wrinkles from this. I learned that at some points I didn't like the ME I was and never want to go back to some of those things again.

Looking back I see myself in so many different ways. Some of which were great and some definitely not so great. However they are all me, good and bad. They tell the Story of my life.

I married young, right out of high school to my sweetheart and had one child at 20 then another at 28. We were married for 15 years and grew up together. It's natural I think to grow up and want different things out of life. This happened to both of us. However today he and I remain good friends. It was a long process for this to happen after divorce but we did it.

Then later I married again to Asshole 1. He took me on a different path in life. Maybe I should say I let myself be led down a different path, for no one held a gun to my head. This path was one of the beginning of self destruction. I married him at the age of 33 and was introduced to a completely different lifestyle. One in which I am not proud of but again was part of what made me who I am now. We were married for four years. Then I woke up or so I thought.

Shortly after, I married Asshole 2. Even worse than number 1. You see I still had much more growing up, learning and living to do. I remember my old boss from the hospital telling me at one time that those in the field of health care felt the need to cure and fix those that were broken. Why did I feel this need knowing inside it was hopeless and damaging to not only myself but my Princess. Again the second part of my self destruction. Only this time I took Princess on the ride with me. This second time around I finally learned and grew up. Never to make those mistakes again.

I feel so lucky and blessed to have met trucker at the age of 43 and for being able to share the second half of my life with him. No one understands or has ever understood me like he does. Sometimes I have wished he was around and part of my life before the last three years, but if this were the case I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't have lived those personalities or had that same life and without that I wouldn't be ME.

The story of my life so far as been one of many different lifestyles, many different personalities with many more to come I am sure. This time around I have someone in it with me for the long haul. Pun intended!!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Saturday Sarcasm

Scroll over the picture and click to enlarge.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Lifetime Ago

It seems almost a lifetime ago that I had a career in Respiratory Therapy working in small county hospitals and nursing homes. If I let my mind drift back to often I find that I really miss those days. At least some of them anyway, the funny moments with my work friends and the doctors were some of the best memories in my life. We had our good times together laughing, joking around, pulling pranks on one another and overall just a generally good time sharing in life. Hospitals may not be the place for some of our particular behavior, but you just gotta do some things to lighten the mood. Of course it also brings back many memories of bad times, and many many sad times as well.

It was kind of a fluke actually how I came about having that career. I had worked for several years in nursing homes as a CNA and at one point in my life actually started taking classes for nursing. However the man I was married to at the time made my life a living hell on trying for a nursing degree and so I ended up quitting classes and sticking with nursing homes only. Inside I longed for something more in health care. I didn't want to be wiping butts for the rest of my life. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but I wanted more for me. A friend of mine was a licensed resp. tech and worked at the local county hospital and came to me one day and asked if I would be interested in on the job training and taking a correspondence course to get my license. I jumped for joy as well as cried really big tears.

I remember my excitement the first day at work. The smells, the sounds, the feeling of finally doing something worthwhile in my life. I was in my own kind of heaven. I also remember my parents being so proud of me and sending me a bouquet of flowers that first day. I still have the card that was attached to it tucked away in my keepsake box. For once in my life I was doing something for me. It was a hard road sometimes. I was married to my second husband asshole 1, and Princess was about 5 years old at the time. Lots of long days and many nights as well. Since it was a small county hospital there were only three of us in the department. The head of the dept, myself and my friend. Whatever day we were scheduled to work we also had to take call that night. This meant many hours of work during the day (12 hours) and many times of being called in at night. Plus having to study and take tests as well. It was all worth it to me though.

After a while my friend moved on to another hospital and then we were down to two in our dept. Even longer days and nights followed. Still I didn't complain as I loved my work. I worked 7 days on (which included calls during the night) and 7 days off. It was like having a mini vacation every other week.

During this time I also was going through a divorce from asshole 1 and had taken another job on my days off. I started doing resp. therapy for the local durable medical equipment company as well. Plus still taking the correspondence course. My life got extremely hard at this point. Divorce is hard enough on children without mom having to work two jobs to make ends meet and mom having to study so much. Money got tight and for a while I had to drop out of the correspondence course. I was still able to keep my job however since it was in a county hospital and the rules had not changed yet.

Time rocked on and it only got tougher on me. I knew eventually I would have to start the class again to obtain my license or not be able to continue working in the field I loved so much. It was a hard decision to make as to whether to stay in the small hospital and work two jobs or move on to a bigger place which offered to pay my course work for me if I signed a years contract to work. It meant leaving the place where all of my friends were, the security of knowing pretty well what would happen from one day to the next, and moving on to making new friends. It also meant I would have to drive one hour to work each day. The new hospital offered me days only, no nights, no on call and many benefits I didn't have at the moment. I weighed the pros and cons and decided to take the new offer. I made a huge mistake by doing this. It wasn't what it was supposed to be at all. My first mistake was "not having the contract signed" before starting work there. Immediately upon starting I got to work one day of day shift and then got transferred to nights. I was told this would be changed very soon when they hired another employee for nights. I was also told since I was actually hired for day shift that I could "sleep" during the night between rounds and would not get into trouble. Heck they even provided me with a mattress for it and an alarm clock. Days rocked on, a month or more rocked on and still no contract to sign and no day shift coming available to me. Don't think I never asked about it. I did almost daily. Never getting a response from them except one time they brought me a "blank" contract to sign. Nothing filled in such as time schedule, the amount of years to work for the course to be payed left blank. So I refused to sign it that way. At the end of my three months I was fired from my employment there. The reason they provided me for doing this was because "I slept on the job". I was devastated. My career ended that day. I had worked so hard for nothing. I was angry at the world for this. There was also nothing I could do about it. I had no paperwork to back up what had been promised to me, no license to move to another hospital and could not go back to the old job. That hospital had been bought out by a bigger corporation and would not honor the OJT's.

I have since more than once tried to obtain my licensing but to no avail. Arkansas has changed the rules to where you have to actually attend college courses for this area of study. Yet Arkansas only has one college available for study and it's located about four hours from me. This is the closet one to me at this time.

So I have only my memories from a lifetime ago of having the career I had always longed for. Now I settle for those memories and watching ER and Grey's Anatomy. But it will never be the same.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thursday's Thoughts

Things that have been rumbling around in my head today. Once more like the spinning of the hamster wheel my thoughts (and often bitches) declared.

Why is it every time I decide the rake my yard the wind starts blowing?

Why does my neighbors have to have a brick wall down the side of their yard, thus making all of my leafs and the entire streets leafs end up on my side to rake????

Why must the damn weatherman predict rain every single time we plan an outdoor family activity for the weekend?

Why is there dog catchers and not cat catchers? After all cats can be a nuisance as well. Before you gripe about this I have cats to.

Why must my cat have to sleep with his paw against my face and one leg around my neck? Thus making me have erotic dreams during the night?

Why does my grandmother's 104 th birthday party have to fall on my Princess's prom date?

Why did I hang my hummingbird feeder low enough to the ground to tantalize my cats?

Why did I let my Respiratory Therapy license expire?

Why am I lacking motivation today?

Why do trucker's call cars 4 wheelers and not cars?

What do trucker's call a actual 4 wheeler?

Why do southerner's call cotton farms cotton plantations?

Why do I even care or think about all of the above?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

State of Limbo

For the last several weeks I have been in a state of limbo around here. Wondering whether we would be able to keep our home or not. Thoughts floating through my head such as, should I start packing now or wait?, do I plant those flower bulbs and seeds?, do I really want to hang the hummingbird feeder and confuse those poor birds by taking it down later?, who am I really helping by doing deep spring cleaning anyway?, What do I care if the yard needs mowing, and it's up to our asses?, you get the idea. Now I don't have to wonder or continue in this state of limbo since the bank finally decided to renew our loan.

So today I am getting out of this house, planting those flower bulbs, hanging the hummingbird feeders, and not mowing the yard.
That's truckers job and one he enjoys. Not to mention the entire time he was over the road trucking it was my job and one I gladly passed on to him. I love doing it actually but my allergies to fresh cut grass, dirt and most things outside would have me in the bed for days afterwards. Picture me if you will planning down to the smallest detail the day I would mow. One that didn't have anything scheduled on my agenda like I ever have anything to do, taking my clothes into the bathroom before mowing because immediately following I had to shower, digging out a face mask, placing the mask on my face to shock the neighbors, covering from head to toe in clothing regardless of how damn hot and humid it was outside, taking my benadryl before mowing, and then using a push mower for the whole yard. Not a pretty site or one I ever looked forward to at all. This process always killed at least two days of my week.

Now sitting here looking out my triple size dining room window I can actually imagine, plan and see taking shape my freshly mowed yard, the hummer feeder hanging on it's iron hook, the bird feeder hanging on the Rug rats clubhouse, and the new bulbs bursting forth their gorgeous color for my viewing pleasure. I can now live again!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Let's Celebrate Together!!!!!!

Myspace Text -

All Care Animal

What are we celebrating you ask?

We have been approved by our bank (you know the one, the one I have cussed out on a daily basis, swore obscenities to and debated on whether I wanted to apply for a position with ) for refinancing of our home for one more year!!! I know, strange that it's for only one year, but they are wanting us to show them we can stay up to date on our loan payments and not fall into the same trouble we have had this last year. We are confident we can do this. After all trucker is not working by the mile anymore but by the hour.

The refinancing doesn't come without it's stipulations though. The ex has to remain on the mortgage. To me this totally sucks but if she is willing that's wonderful for us. Trucker feels she will do this for the kids to remain in the only home they have ever known. Another stipulation is we have to pay our home owner's insurance up for a year and not monthly as we have always done before. So much scrimping further the next couple of weeks to manage to pay this amount. Again, we are confident we can do this.

So pop open a Michelob Ultra and drink one with me why don't you? Come on, I know it's still early but what the hell. Share in this excitement with us.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Long Day Takes It's Toll

Today was long and busy around here. Trucker and I went back to our bank where our mortgage is being held and found out our info has been forwarded on to the main bank for possible??? maybe they will and maybe they won't consideration of refinancing us after all. We are trying to remain positive but are not holding our breath either. After all we are both way to young to die.

After that project was completed on our parts we then headed out for more errands. I hate buying groceries!! I hate it so bad. I don't really know why but I do. Maybe it's because feeding a family of four is so damned expensive. Also maybe because I also hate to cook. I used to love cooking and actually looked forward to trying new recipes. Now however I am married to a meat and potatoes trucker.
Seriously if I never served anything to him but a huge chunk of red meat again the man would die happy. Die early but quite happy. The Rug rats want nothing but instant potatoes night after night when they are here. I have no fun planning any cooking anymore. I long for the days of trying new foods, delights for my taste buds. OK, I must stop now I am hungry and no one is home but me. So no cooking again. OK, not going to complain about not having to cook. ha ha.

After leaving our life savings at the Save-A-Lot I decided to go with trucker for the rest of the day. We headed out in the semi to Holly Spring, MS. Only about one hour from Memphis, TN. It was a nice ride, bouncing along jarring your guts out, but nice. I finally got trucker to laugh some and take his mind off life for a bit. This made the bouncing, jiggly stinky semi ride worth it.

Now I'm beat. I think I will go crawl into my bed boo hoo alone again, trucker stayed out to make up some time, and maybe watch the CMT music awards. Or what's left of them anyway.

I leave you with another tired member of the family. He plum tuckered out doing his homework tonight. Poor little fellow worked so damn hard. He better make an A on his assignment.

Sunday, April 13, 2008


Shit, now I forgot what I was going to tell you!!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Strike, You're Out

With my second wedding anniversary approaching my mind is flooded with memories each day. Since it's only been two years ago most of my memories of trucker and I dating and the wedding itself are still very fresh in my mind. One of those memories that keeps popping up is one of our first "out of town" trip together. This trip occurred as trucker's way of apologizing to me for a vast wrong he had committed. You see not long after trucker and I started dating I explained to him quite nicely I must add, about how I approached any new relationship after my third divorce. I had made a set of rules and strictly adhered to that set. One of the main rules was that anyone I chose to date had a "three strike, you're out" rule. If they had done something I deemed a strike and did this three times they were quite simply out of my life. No if's, and's or but's about it. Now I would give them the benefit of telling them of the wrong they committed and give them a chance to make it a clean slate again. They obtained strikes by: canceling a date without good reason at the last minute, blowing me off for something else that came up after committing to something we had planned, raising their voice to me or my child, getting drunk, or acting inappropriately in public. I didn't think this set of rules to difficult to follow either, after all to me it was respect. Trucker didn't seem to mind these rules either, but he did want to know exactly what "good reasons" were when canceling that little shithead. I explained to him that unless you were bleeding, had broken bones, car accident or things of this nature that it was unacceptable to cancel on me. Now you might think this is a harsh set of rules but I refused to put up with shit in my life anymore. I had put up with way to much shit in my previous life. Someday I will fill you in on it.

Ok, so now I have explained to you my rules of dating and why I felt they were important.
We had been dating about two months when trucker committed his crime. He canceled a very important date, one in which we had planned to go to my companies Christmas party. This had been planned for weeks in advance.
At the time I worked as a paralegal for a private law practice and they had this big shindig every year. I had never been able to go before now due to previous engagements on my part and was really, really looking forward to this one. He called the day before the party and said he wouldn't be able to make it due to the fact that his ex wife had chosen that same weekend to go out of town and he had no one to watch his kids. He wasn't bleeding, he had no broken bones and had been in no car accident, so yes, he got a strike. He also knew how mad I was at him and that he received his first strike.

Now cut to the chase. A couple of weeks after this trucker called me one night and wanted to know if he could have his strike removed?
He then went on to tell me he had bought us tickets to the Nascar races in Talladega, AL for the first weekend in October and would I like to go with him. Hell yes that removed his strike. I was giddy with excitement. I had only been to one race in person, and I was thrilled to be going out of town and spending four days with him. This was the first time I would be meeting his friends as well. We had the time of our lives those four days. It was perfect in every way. We drove down one night and it took all night, set up our tent, slept a few hours, souvenir shopped upon waking, and watched racing action all weekend. It was one long party weekend with other racing fans. A time I will never forget and neither will trucker. That was the weekend he said he "fell in love with me" but didn't have the nerve to tell me yet. Any woman that thought camping at a race track was fun was perfect in his book. Since that first "out of town trip" we have made it a tradition each year to go to nascar weekend there. We also went for a belated honeymoon that next October.

Had trucker never committed his first strike I may never have gone to that nascar race. So thanks trucker for coming close to striking out.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Springtime in Arkansas

How do I know for sure it's springtime in Arkansas? When every channel on television is reporting nothing but the weather, when the temps change from mid 50's to mid 70's in the mere blink of an eye, and when the sky looks like this. This is what I woke to this morning. So I thought it best to take my morning walk earlier than usual. Even before my coffee and Bailey's. After seeing the sky and hearing the weather reports I maybe should have drank that coffee first. They are calling for severe thunderstorms and many tornados to pop up today. Neither of which is unusual this time of year. I have to say I love a good thunderstorm but those tornados I can definitely do without. Not that I figure there are many people who actually look forward to them.

My walk was invigorating and I snapped some lovely shots of the neighborhood. I love spring, even with the bad weather.
All the flowers blooming and the birds and squirrels out. I don't know what kind of tree this is in my neighbors yard but I love it. I have always wanted one of them. So if anyone knows please pass this info on to me.

I also love this little bench in my next door neighbors yard as well as the lilac which surrounds it. The wind was blowing and I could smell it from my own yard. One time in which I loved the wind was this morning. It reminded me of my wedding not the wind. Why you ask? I had lilacs in my bouquet I love them so much. Oh memories!!! I also had the privilege of seeing a cute little squirrel in my yard. If you can't tell he was hanging on to this tree limb for dear life.

I continued on my walk at a leisurely pace. Enjoying the streets and neighbors landscapes. That is until I reached this rather peculiar yard ornament. Now I know they didn't intend for me to take a picture of it but let's get real, I couldn't help myself. It's not every day you run across this while out for your morning walk. I wonder just how long it will set there before the sanitation dept picks it up? I wonder if the garbage men will find it as funny as I did this morning? I also wondered in my own weird thinking if some kid while out walking used it? I know, I'm strange this way, you don't have to tell me.

I also wondered if anyone else ever sees sights such as this while out walking. Have you? Share with me some of the things you see while out on your walks. Try and top mine!!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Observations in Life

Today I worked at the library as I often do as a substitute. So I didn't have much time to collect my thoughts for a blog entry. However I received this email today from my sister and felt obliged to share it with you. I have to say this is the funniest one I have read in a long time. It also makes you think about being observant in life. Pay attention to detail in your everyday world.

The Dead Cow and Vet School ...

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck
his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.' 'Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid.'

Sunday, April 6, 2008


This is going to be short and sweet today. When I die if there is such a thing as reincarnation I want to come back as my cat. Master Merlin has such an easy life. He sleeps most of the time, eats when hungry there is always food in his bowl, goes outside to attempt catching birds hard to do when claw less, and generally just takes life in leisure. It must be nice to not have a care in the world, someone to be at your beck and call.

Edited to add my trucker just walked by and seen this post and said "gee that's a pretty cat". Trucker is so observant by not recognizing his own cat. ha ha.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Times, my how they have changed

I remember when I was much younger something I had done that deserved punishment from my parents. I was about 14 years old if my ole memory serves correct, let's face it, it's not what it once was and we owned horses. Several horses actually and it was me and my sister's chore and responsibility to feed, water and clean stalls. Along with lots of other chores horse related. God at the chores for those horses we loved so much. Well this particular day I done everything like normal with the exception of watering. God only knows why I didn't think they needed water this day. It was hot summer time. Temps in the high 90's and the heat index even higher. As well as anyone who has ever lived in the south or heck even visited it knows the humidity alone makes it stifling hot. My mother checked on me that day and the horses for some reason. I guess her motherly intuition must have kicked in. So she is the one who discovered I had not watered the poor things. This was still early in the morning when she found my mistake. So she ensued the proper punishment for my crime. I was to mow the yard no small feat as our yard was one and half acres, use the weed eater, and water the flower beds. At first I thought this to be no big punishment and thought how lucky was I that Mom is who found out and not Dad. Then mom continued on..........................I was to do all of it and drink nothing all day. All of this so I could see how our horses truly felt to do without.

I mowed the yard first, weed whacked it and then watered the flowers. The entire time of my punishment I was bitching under my breath about how WRONG this was, how cruel my mom must have been treated when she was young and how could a mother treat her child this way! Me being the respectful child I was and still am mind you, never once thought of drinking anything. Not even while I had the stupid water hose in my hands watering the flowers. Now it could have been respect on my part but let's be real here, it's honestly because my teenage brain never thought about it. Had I been smart enough I am sure I would have had a small drink of water behind her back. Then again Mom like all mom's, had eyes in the back of her head and ears that could hear a pin drop a mile away. So I took my punishment and went to bed that night never having one small sip of blessed water.

Did I ever forget to water the horses again? Hell NO, those babies got watered every day for the rest of their lives by me till the day I moved out. Mom's punishment worked.

Years later this discussion came up for topic at a family holiday. Mom could not believe I never took a sip of water that day. She then felt sorry for what she had done. She swore she just knew I would have taken a few sips and honestly when she gave this punishment to me she expected this in a small way she said. This lesson taught me a lot. It taught me to do chores with care, to not let my mind wander when others depended on me. It also gave me more respect for my mother.

My how times have changed in this day and age by us, we parents who now dole out punishment for our children's crimes.

My oldest bonus child, Rug rat 1 came home the other night with her first very bad grade on her report card. Rug rat 1 is in the 5th grade, is in the gifted and talented class, and never ever makes bad grades. This was a complete surprise to my trucker. He was in shock that she could do this. Not so much to me because after all she is in elementary school. It gets harder as they grow and mature and move up in school as well as when thoughts of boys occupy the inner most recesses of it. All of which I had been reminding him of for future reference. When trucker told me of her grades I kept my mouth shut for the most part. Keeping some thoughts to myself as they were better left unsaid. Thoughts such as "nananana, see I told you". Shame on me but sometimes he rubbed this in my face more than once when Princess occasionally brings home a bad grade.

So trucker started talking punishment to me. One thing we have always tried to do since we got married is to stay out of each other's children's punishment issues. Trucker and his ex work this out themselves and sometimes not always in my book come up with reasonable and fitting punishments. Once again I kept my mouth shut. God is this ever hard to do when you yourself have already gone through raising children and knowing what you have done wrong and most especially want to pass your knowledge on to others. However I remained quiet and listened. They chose together what they felt best for this particular case. Rug rat 1 was grounded from the computer for a grand total of 3 days. 3 whole days off the computer. HaHaHa. Excuse me while I pick myself up off the floor here where I have rolled around in laughter and wipe the tears from my eyes. As you have probably guessed I don't think this is enough punishment as Rug rat 1 never shed a tear. Never said I am sorry and it won't happen again.

I hope this works for them, I really really do. I hope it's nipped in the butt now as later and it happen again.

Had this been when I was in grade school? My butt would have stung for a few days from the spanking I would have received. My how times have changed.

Friday, April 4, 2008

It Hurts

Our days and months to come for my family are going to be difficult and stressful. You try to look on the bright side of things when something like this happens to you but sometimes it's really really hard to do. To be honest I have never really deep down liked this home. Oh don't get me wrong there are lots of things I do love about it. My trucker was practically raised in this home and it holds lots and lots of memories for him. I like the size of it, the old hardwood floors, the size of the yard, the location is perfect for us right across from the high school and just down from the elementary. It has though and never will be my home. It is not one in which we picked out and chose together when we got married. In fact trucker lived here for many years with his ex wife. This has been another thorn in my side with regards to this house.

So now I am trying to look on the bright side of things. Maybe it's a chance for us to start over together in something that is ours. Something that we make a new beginning for us. Even if it means renting at least it is a fresh start for the two of us. Not something that holds good and bad memories. Maybe it's God's way of preparing us for a future when my Princess is out of high school. We have talked about downsizing and possibly moving in the coming years anyway. Somewhere we both would be happy. Somewhere closer to truckers job so as not to have such a long drive to and from. Heck we have even talked of moving out of state someday.

However it still hurts to see the pain in trucker's eyes to know he has worked so hard to retain the family home. To hold on to those memories of the past.

A home is not where you live but the family that lives in it.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Thursday's Thoughts and Ramblings

I woke this morning not in my usual way but was glaringly jarred out of bed by the shrill sound of Princess's voice yelling at me along with the sounds of thunder and lightening outside. "You have got to wake up and take me to school, I can't walk in this" she shouted. Yes Princess shouts at me sometimes much to my chagrin. In my sleep filled state my response to her was not appreciated in the least. "Grab the umbrella out of the car and walk your butt there" I said. "God Mom it's lightening I'm not carrying an umbrella" she said "what do you want me to die first thing this morning" as opposed to later in the day I was thinking. I jumped out of bed not at all happy to be losing much needed sleep and grabbed my shoes. After much talking screaming being more the wording we headed out the door. We did not go to school. We didn't even get in the car as the rain was coming down in buckets. I couldn't even see my car in the driveway it was raining so hard. We turned around and came back into the house and Princess went upstairs and went back to bed. Today was early out day anyway and I have to go over later and get her report card. The funny is caddy cornered to our house and all of about a 5 minute walk to the front door to enter. Princess might have melted or been struck by lightening had she taken the umbrella I suggested screamed for her to carry.

Am I a bad mommy for letting her play hookie? I don't think so.............

Today's weather was the perfect way to start my day. Gloomy, wet, cloudy and depressing totally fits my mood for today. You see yesterday trucker and I received some very bad news. BTW, I went out on the road with him yesterday so I heard the news firsthand. The bank is not willing to refinance our home. Our balloon payment is due in less than 30 days. I didn't realizemy trucker has the type of mortgage that has to be refinanced every three years which is now due and payable. The reasons for them not doing so are many and varied. Suffice it to say that we have had a very very difficult time since he started trucking and have barely been able to keep from going into foreclosure twice now. Now however we can afford to make the payments, have even been doubling them in the last couple of months but it doesn't matter to the bank even if we are current or not. This means finding another bank who might be willing to loan us the money to keep our home. Quite honestly I don't think we will be able to find one.

This has been trucker's home for nearly his entire life. It originally belonged to his grandmother and when she passed on he bought it from her estate. Trucker has now lived here for 12 years of his adult life not to mention the years he lived here taking care of his grandmother before that.

Now begins the search for another bank. Much stress to come and many more gloomy days ahead.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Who would we be helping or hurting?

Since the trucking industry is new to both myself and my trucker man today is a confusing day for me. As well as one in which I am fearful and afraid of. There has been a lot of talk today and proceeding days about a trucker strike. Which from what I have been able to gather would be starting today.

To be honest I know almost nothing about strikes of any kind never really having been in a industry or profession in which one has taken place. I do know that something has to be done regarding the prices of fuel for our drivers and for anyone who drives. It has reached a point to where truck driver's are shutting down their rigs, driving well below the legal speed limit to conserve fuel and many are going out of business. Many owner/operators who have driven truck all their lives are seeing their business's close as well as their dreams gone. They simply can't afford to drive anymore. They are going or have went into the black.

While I do see the trucker's point of view regarding striking exactly how is this helping? If they strike and shut down for the day or days to come does this not raise the cost of all of our transported items? Groceries, fuel itself, and everything the trucking industry hauls? Which in turn also affects the drivers and their families? So many questions are roaming around in my head now. Like a hamster on his spinning wheel. What does one do?

In our case my trucker and our family cannot afford to shut down for one day let alone one minute. He is not an owner/operator but drives for a local seed company. This also means if he shuts down that farmer's will not receive the seeds they need for their livelihood. Which in turn means we don't eat. And the never ending cycle continues.

Another thought that continually is running through my head like that hamster on his wheel again, is that if the price of fuel keeps rising that my trucker will be forced to stay in his truck overnight at his place of employment. As we honestly wouldn't be able to afford for him to drive back and forth the 60 miles one way to work daily to drive his truck.

I don't know for one second what the answer is to the rising price of fuel but wish and pray that someone figures it out soon.